What To Do If Your Coping With Child Anger Issues, Aggression, Refusing To Share, Bossing, Bullying, Not Taking Turns, And Breaking Things When They Don't Get Their Way
SPD kids in particular are prone to child anger issues because they frequently feel they have no control over their thoughts, emotions, feelings and bodies.
When any person is not feeling in control, at least to a certain comfortable extent, the human response seems to be acting out in such a way, as to take control of whatever they feel they can.
Controlling their siblings, bullying, disobedience, tantrums that are out of
control (because the child feels and is out of control) is common. Bullying
is about control. The need for control.
The simple solution that is not always that simple. Give them control in any way you can, while you continue to work on the issues that cause him to feel
out of control.
The younger a child, the easier to implement changes, but this can still be worked on positively. By giving them more control, and here again, I have to say this is only effective, if in fact the parent is an active participant in therapy and is implementing a strong home sensory diet, and is observing therapy and continuing activities at home; because changes in this child's ability to become under his own control is critical.
So we begin by offering choices a typical child is asked to make. Sounds too simple, but this method is of course even used by adults who have lost control in their lives, and need to regain it.
Offer choices all day, whenever an opportunity arises. Here are a few examples:
- What would you like for dinner? Give two or three choices, and let child choose.- What are you choosing to wear today?
- Tonight we are going out to eat, why don't YOU choose the restaurant this
time?
Constant reinforcement that: "Although you may not be in control of your self, your body, your emotions and your feelings, quite yet, and we will help you until you ARE, you still can have control over your wishes, desires and choices."
This reinforces and teaches control in smaller increments, allowing him to feel some measure of the control that he is lacking. As therapy progresses, he will become more in control of his emotions, feelings, reactions and responses, and the need to prove he has control, by abusing it, will diminish.
The school could also help by allowing him to make choices, more frequently. It's with these small kernels of progress, we begin to see changes that eventually have such a big impact on child anger issues.
Related Resources
Coping With Emotions In SPD - A reader asks about coping with emotions in SPDMy Out-of-Control Child - Parenting Children With Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
My Out-Of-Control Teen - For Parents With Out-of-Control Teens.
Child Behavior Problems As A Result Of SPD
Problem Behaviors In The Classroom
Hair Pulling And Self-Stimming Behaviors
Behavior Of Your SPD Child; Home Vs. School
Behaviors And Solutions For "The Sensory Sensitive Child"
Do You Have Any Insights You Learned About Anger Issues, Meltdowns & Tantrums while dealing with SPD?
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