VERY Angry 9 year old......since BIRTH

by Alisa Cooney
(South Australia)

I have 4 kids but my 9 year has the worst behaviour issues that I yet to find an answer to to.

1mth old - She sleep all day but cried most of the day unless I carried her in a harness/sling.

3mths old - she would not let me hold her while she fed from the bottle she would have to beside me or in cot while I held the bottle. She would arch away and scream till I found spot she felt comfortable to feed.

6mths old - she became more violent scratching, pushing, biting, during feeding, bathing, dressing, trying to get her to sleep.

1 year old - the anger kept getting worst in more situation and started screaming at strangers that interacted with her. When first approached she went shy and when the the stranger said how cute she would scream at them.

2 years old - She started screaming that I was killing her and breaking her arms and legs when I tried to put her in the stroller and or restrain her from attacking her older brother and sister She could pin her 5 year old sister down with ease in her fit of anger.

3 years old - my nana died and after that she started threatening to kill people. I had to start putting her a stroller to restrain her in her fits of anger she was getting to strong and taking to much time away from my other children. I also thought it would be the best way to show her good interaction with the other kids with out having to hold her. She would just scream more and louder when ever she heard me praising the other kids or laughing with the other kids.

4 years old - started playing a game about getting rid of the anger inside her. We would pick her up or walk her some where and ask her flush her anger down the toilet or put it in the bin and it worked to some degree. We also started giving her bear hug and said we were squishing the anger out. We also tried tickling the anger out of her but as soon as you got the goon behaviour and began to praise her for the good behaviour she would get angry again.

5 years old - We starting to getting hugs with out aggression but they had to very firm hugs. We had a new idea and tried sitting at the table and talking about all the good things we loved about her behaviour. In the beginning she would scream at us and threaten to kill us and attack us and we would remove her to a safe distance not say anything to her and then go back to the table and talk about her great behaviour again using positive words and making sure we did not say anything about her anger. with in 6mth we were seeing major changes in her wanting to do good behaviour and hugging us that was a wonderful change. I had to sit her in the bath room or a some where with limit space and sit in the door way for hours with out talking to her till she calmed down.

6 years ago - she started threatening to kill her self when she got angry. she was not getting angry as often but the aggression was getting worse as if she was holding it in and holding in to she could not hold it anymore. She put her bare foot threw a glass window. Her anger was so bad toward me I felt she had to learn that she could no longer hurt me at all I started removing my self from her reach by putting my self in a room she would sit out side the door and and scream I refused to come out till she was calm. It did not take her long to start attracting to other kids so I had to make sure the kids came in to the room with me.

7 years old - Her anger was getting so bad that we had to remove our self from the entire house Putting her in her room was not an option for one I did not want her to become scared of her room and 2 the times I did try it but she would throw everything and try to break things and window's. With her threats to kill her self I was worried about her breaking a window and hurting her self. We would sit on the door step where she could see us threw the glass windows beside the front door but we had fun on the door step and ignored her behaviour. By siting on the door step I was guarding the door so she could not run away, which she had started to attempting to do. She was finally seeing a phycologist and he knew what I was doing in attempt to stop the negative reaction like hitting, scratching, ect.

8 years old - she started seeing a psychiatrist who put her on an anti-Depressant medication and we finally started a calmer child and her beautiful smile more and more over time. The problem was the psychologist did not see to be having a impact on her and the psychiatrist seem to only want to give her med's.

9 years old - She is finally starting to open up and talk about what makes her angry. Now that she's calmer I and starting to open up I want her to get back in to talk therapy with a child phycologist and she finally seeing one in week I cant wait. She rarely tries to run away we had to put a deadlock on the front door. That seem to have calmed her down as if that's what she wanted all along which. I have only had to use it a few time bye the 3rd time I said to her if you want to door dead lock you just have to ask and that's what she did the next time she asked me to dead lock the front door. She has a germ phobia to the point of hyperventilating when asked to do the dishwasher. She recently told me that she has a constant repetitive thoughts about stabbing people. She scared of all knifes not just sharp one.

I WISH I did not have keep trying to prove I have caused ALL of my daughter behaviours. I know I'm not perfect I have tried to get her help from as young as 1 year old