Sometimes choices don't work

by Della
(Michigan)

Dealing with my son and his anger issues has been a very difficult experience for our whole family. He is now 12 and his anger/outbursts are occurring fewer and farther between episodes. However, today, he wanted to use the laptop to do his homework. Unfortunately he wanted to hold it on his lap, but my husband told him no. He was given the choice to use it on the kitchen table or the dining room table. He refused and continued working with it on his lap. It fell off his lap, he realized he made a mistake and looked at his dad. My husband had a fit and took it away. Our son started crying and saying inappropriate things. I tried to coax him to work at the table, but he left and went to his room. He is now banging and throwing things. I know that if I go to the room, it will only get worse. So I listen to his banging and throwing. It's difficult listening to this, but I believe my other children have learned to tune him out which I suppose is the best thing to do. What upsets me more than listening to the chaos in his bedroom, is the knowledge that he finally on his own wanted to do his homework. Homework has been a struggle also, but laptops are expensive so what do you do? Well, joy, the banging and throwing has stopped and he is now downstairs. He won't look at us, but he his now using the computer at the kitchen table and doing his homework.