Was looking up SPD for my son and found myself. pg 4 SOCIAL / EMOTIONAL and Internal Regulation:

by Jerry A
(Dyersburg, Tn.)

SOCIAL / EMOTIONAL:

1. "cries easily, over things others usually don't, very "emotional" and "sensitive." This bugs the crap out of me and embarrasses me when he does this in public.
2. "may be described as "stubborn", "defiant", or "uncooperative" and "difficulty with authority figures." My wife says that I am rebellious when I don't do what she is commanding that I do. I say, she is not my authority figure therefore I am not being rebellious. When I worked, I had a lot of difficulty relating to my bosses. when I was in school, I was real defiant towards the teachers.
3. "can't seem to finish anything." Since I graduated college in 1988, I have not been able to a book all the way thru. When cleaning the house with my wife, I drive her crazy because I jump from task to task without ever completing any one of them.
4. "rigid and controlling." I use to be this real bad but have mellowed out with age.
5. "prefers solitary activities, avoids groups and has difficulty seeking out and maintaining relationships ." My son and I are both this way. His sister is a half sister and we don't see her that much and due to the age difference and gender difference so he has been raised mostly as an only child. secondly, we have moved a lot. he is in the 4th grade and has been to 5 schools in 5 different towns. He told me one night sadly, "Daddy, it is hard to make new friends." This a burden that we have put on him that I have decided that we are not going to move again especially during the school year. I am tired of moving too. None of us have any close friends because we have moved so much. If I die now, no one will come to my funeral because I don't know anybody. When I was raised, we lived in the same town and all of my family still lives there. I am the only one who doesn't. I had a bad childhood and have mostly bad memories growing up plus I was a drug addict and alcoholic when I lived there which are things I don't do today. I never had a best friend after the 3rd grade. Partly due to me changing schools (even though I lived in the same town) and partly due to my best friend moving away.
6. "impatient and/or impulsive" and "easily frustrated."
I get irritated waiting in long lines. I get irritated and easily frustrated with my son ( and other people) when i tried to teach him something and he doesn't learn as quick as I think he should or do it the way that I am teaching.
7. "trouble relating to and socializing with peers and colleagues and having difficulty seeking out and maintaining relationships." I have noticed that I am getting worse in this area. Partly, it is due to us moving around a lot and not having long time relationships and it is partly due to my hearing difficulties. It is extremely frustrating for me to be socializing with people and I can't hear or understand what they are saying. I have frequent fights with my family when I think they have said 1 thing but what they said it was something totally different.
8. "a "sore loser" My wife has told my son that we are going to quit playing games with him if he doesn't behave himself better when he doesn't win a game.
9. "strong feelings of anger or rage." I have gone to jail twice for my rage. 1 time, when my son was 3 yo, we were at a Burger King. He was playing in the play ground area. Another kid came up to him and hit him in the head for no reason. I went and said something to the other kid's father. I expected an apology or that he would at least say he would talk to his son. But NO, he didn't apologize. He looked at me and said, "So!" That made my blood boil. I took a step back and busted him right in the nose. It knocked him right over a table. I got arrested and had to go to jail for 5 days and pay for him to have some dental work done!
10. "have panic or anxiety attacks or plagued by fears and/or phobias." At night when I lay down to sleep, sometimes my mind wonders back to years ago when certain things happened or I did certain things that could have turned out a lot worse but by the grace of God didn't. I have panic or anxiety attacks thinking about how worse those things could have been. It haunts my mind.
Now I am going to finish up with Internal Regulation:
1. "difficulty falling asleep or getting on a sleep schedule." My son and I both take meds to help us sleep. He didn't have school today so I let him stay awake longer last night. It was about 3:30am when I got him to sleep and about 4am when I got to sleep. It was a restless sleep. It wasn't till about 8am this morning till I finally zonked out. The door bell woke at 11:30am this morning and I woke him up at 12:30 pm playing music to loud. Even when he has school the next day, it is hard to get him to sleep before midnight and hard for me to get to sleep before 2am. I have thought this is due to my Bi-Polar disorder.
2. "over or under sensitivity to the sensation of hunger/appetite." His is effected because he takes concerta. I am obese. I constantly want to nibble on something. I am craving fruit right now.
3. "over or under sensitivity to bowel and bladder sensations." He has pissed in his pants before. he told me that he was playing and didn't want to stop what he was doing so he could go to the bathroom.
4. "irregular, inconsistent bowel, bladder and appetite sensations." he can go for days without pooping. I know this because even at 12, he wants me to come with him to go to the bathroom at our own house. I don't know what he is scared of. I ask him every time.
Well that is it. I hope you have enjoyed my blogs on SPD and hope you may have gotten some kind of understanding that you are not alone in this struggle.