Trying to deal with family in a healthy way

by K.rose
(Pennsylvania)

My brother , his wife and son have just went through loosing there home and belongings in a flood in September 2011. They are all experiencing post traumatic stress. My son, my husband and our 23m old daughter went through a hardship as well and they offered for us to come and move with them and so we can help each other out and be able to move forward. I am very grateful and it's important for me to try and live in harmony. Most things I can understand but my 8 yr old nephew is not nice to my almost 2 yr old daughter I feel so bad for her. I dont want her to develop mean habits and i try to help him understand why she is so attached to him just as he is so attached, follows and wants everything my 14 yr old son has. My brother tries a little with it but they are still so involved with the past flood that everything is dim and grim and my nephew will be reprimanded when he is wrong but in the end just gets what he wants. I just want the kids to get along and I don't know how to do it given the sensitive situation I dont know how to best handle the situation so it works for everyone. Please help