Today Is The Begining. My son, William.

by Kelly Smith
(North East England)

Five days over my due date I was attending an emergency scan because I was having pains, but no contractions. The scan revealed that I had bit by bit lost the amniotic fluid around the baby. So, I was admitted to the ward where I was to be induced the following day.

Thoughts of worry, fear, and happiness were running through my mind. I didn't want him to be born yet as I was so scared (first time mum). Well the time arrived; I had my first dose of medicine to induce me. I was told that I would also need to have second dose, eight hours later, but that never happened. The maternity ward was full, no beds were available so I was asked to leave the hospital... bearing in mind that there was no fluid around the baby and I'd had my first dose of medicine to induce me. Being new to all of this, I had no idea that this was unheard of what they were asking me to do. So, I left the hospital with an appointment to come back in five days time to be induced again.

The day arrived. And on that day we had our beautiful little William at 6:03am, he weighed 6lb and 13oz... he was tiny. Everything was going very well. I settled in to motherhood and I developed a relationship with my son.

It wasn't until my son reached a year old that I began to have concerns. He was unable to sit up alone or stand unaided or pull himself up onto furniture, there was no sign of him walking, nor had he even attempted to say a word. It wasn't until my son's 18th month check up with his health visitor that I expressed my concerns. I would have done it earlier but people kept telling me, "Don't be silly, kids do things at their own speed, it will come eventually." I then discussed all my concerns with the health visitor which included; just after 18 month he has just started to walk and is very clumsy, as well as not saying his first word yet.

From here she referred William to a pediatrician where he underwent a number of tests including a brain scan and many blood tests (I am unaware of which blood tests he has had done). My biggest concern was that he kept tensing all his muscles; he would (still does) go stiff and clench his arms and hands to his chin and bring his jaw out.

Over the last year William has seen many professionals and is under one child consultant at a children's services department, where I have always been looked down on and told that I am just being an over-protective mum who doesn't want to let go. They put his stiffness down to habit and his clumsiness down to hypermobile joints, and the rest of his delays down to just being two years delayed.

He has had a speech therapist over the last three years who has worked with him both in school and out when she is not out sick, but who am I to complain. Three years ago I was promised all the help for my son. For example, a Physiotherapist and an Occupational Therapist who would help William prepare for going to nursery. A year after starting nursery, three years after he was promised, William was introduced to a Physiotherapist who was full of promises too... like, we will do this and get this sorted and we will all work together in and out of school. So I was very hopeful because over the last year it had been a real nightmare.

I have honestly found it so hard to cope with my son. I have never felt so alone. Since my son has turned three, he has been such a handful; he runs all over and I can't control his behavior. He had to have a one to one carer at nursery as he has a poor attention span and cannot concentrate for long periods of time.

Anyway, a week later after meeting with this Physiotherapist, she had left a message with the nursery that she had discharged William from the department as there was nothing she could do with him. So I was back to square one again.

This has caused a lot of strain on my relationship with William's father as he hasn't really been supportive. He has always blamed me for William being the way he is, always telling me that I am too soft with him and that I baby him. When someone is constantly telling you this, you then begin to believe that you are to blame and that you are a bad mother. Until today.

I breathed a big sigh of relief and then burst into tears; it was like all of my Christmas's had come at once. When William had his review a couple of months ago, he eventually was passed on to an Occupational Therapist. She had seen William, came out to the house and spent two and a half hours with William assessing him. That day she said to me that she wanted to test William for SPD, After just two hours of meeting William she had "diagnosed" him. Four years I have waited for this. But, this wasn't on paper yet. We then did the test on William and I have waited for two weeks for the results... the ones I received today... the ones that finally confirmed William does have SPD.

It sounds really horrible of me but I am so pleased that it has come back that he has this condition because now it's like I don't have to explain myself to anyone anymore. My son is loving, will talk to anyone, is always touching and feeling people and objects, he is hyperactive, has mega tantrums and is very emotional. He also mixes well, has to have a lot of adult led activity, and is delayed in many ways. But I would not change him for the world no matter what anyone says. He takes a lot of hard work at times but, hey, he's my son and I'm sure the good days will make up for the bad.

I'm very sorry if i have rambled on... it's just that I am so happy and relieved with the results I received today that I just want to tell the world. Ha ha ha. If there is anyone with any advice for me on how I can help my son or make our lives less stressful,l I would be very grateful. Thanks everyone for taking the time to read my long message.xxx

(kellyann024@yahoo.co.uk)