The sound! It's too...painful?

by Kelsey
(Georgia, USA)

When I was born, I was born with many different issues. One of these issues, though, was SPD.

My mother wasn't allowed to breastfeed me due to me having various digestive issues. I was fed pre-digested food through a tube. To fill the void, my parents gave me a pacifier. Seems pretty ok, right? The only thing was, I kept the "binky" 'till I was 8, and then my parents made me quit.

I loved to chew on things. I'd shove any toy in my mouth and just knaw on it. Even now, at age 15, I find myself biting different objects. Sometimes even biting my hands.

Speaking of my hands, I tend to do weird things with them. I bite them, suck them, pop my knuckles, rub and fiddle with little objects, wring them, and most often, rub them together as if I were trying to light a fire.

As for my feet, they are a bit misshapen due to other physical issues. I hate having them touched or rubbed, and will flinch back if they are. I have also found to walk around barefoot triggers my bowels. I only like to wear certain socks, and can't stand socks I don't like.

Fun Fact: Having my hair brushed, makes me need to sneeze. Not kidding. :)

I also have terrible handwriting. At one school, the teachers didn't understand, and called my work "chicken-scratch". They'd give me bad grades and send notes to my parents. And no matter how still I hold the pencil, my writing still comes out a little wobbly. Also when I'm very focused on drawing something or writing, I'll strain my eyes, bite my tongue, and mess with my glasses (that often slide down my nose).

Every day I have these little excited fits that last for less than 2 seconds. I'll tighten up my muscles, squeeze my eyes shut, rub my face, and squeal. I have to let off this steam, or else I'll get too excited and I'll fidget in class. I often am found twisting my necklace in my fingers. I find it messages them.

Fellow peers tended to not understand. Although I was never friendless, I was made fun of repeatedly. And still am. They'll imitate my actions and laugh at me. They think I have mental issues, but I don't!

My main thing that causes me trouble over everything else, is my phobia. I'm petrified of BALLOONS! Not the milar ones, I love those. I'm talking about the latex balls of horror! Mostly, I'm scared of them POPPING! If found the sound hurts my uber sensitive ears. I especially get nervous when they're in the hands of children, who will put them in their MOUTHS!! I'm so scared of them, I freaked out in 8th grade science when we had to use them. I got upset and panicked, ran into the hallway, and burst into tears. This, of course, also brought on more bouts of harassment. Due to my ears, I also can't stand IMAX movies, fireworks, and loud concerts. Sometimes when I watch TV, my mom says I have the volume too low. I never even notice.

I'd like to thank my parents for being so patient with me and helping me figure this out.

Also, if anyone out there has suggestions for overcoming my balloon phobia, I'd love help. :)

Thanks for reading!

Kelsey