SPD at 40 years of age, any help without drugs?

by Jon
(SD, CA USA)

At 18 years of age I took an IQ test in a rehabilitation center I had volunteered to enter. My score was very high on the right side of the brain (genius) but was told I was socially retarded on the left side of the brain.

Looking in at 41 to see what it means to be socially retarded as my life has been very difficult for reasons I haven't always understood, brought me to this website. I see there is help for children with SPD but what about adults? Is it too late?

I have screwed up nearly every great opportunity that has come my way through out my entire life. I have smoked marijuana since I was 10 years old due to information overload and to help me cope with daily issues. I was abused as a child physically and mentally by my adopted parents. Grew up with a very low self esteem also due to losing my front tooth at 7 years old and my parents not fixing it. School peers can be cruel as we all know not to mention adult life as it seems elementary school is still in session. In school I was good with math but not reading. Later I became a very good musician and artist but always managed to hide the fact of being socially retarded one way or the other. At times looking back I now know it was obvious to some if not many. As many of the tasks with people failed miserably after succeeding at first.

Most of my life I have been discouraged and overwhelmed due to the information overload. One discouragement I have always faced was the fact of manipulation in order to get ahead in life. As I have witnessed this in most every walk of life, competitiveness etc.. there are many outlooks on that or ways to justify it. I have always looked at things negatively. Is it the neurological pathways in my brain that are creating these negative outlooks and discouragement? Lack of hope etc...

I feel stupid writing this as it has always seemed to me that people just take advantage of those in need or lack of understanding and or know how. I have worked many jobs and have had 3 businesses where it seems you make a great deal of money due to people not having other resources and or abilities or understanding to get the job done. Some of it being acceptable but a lot of it questionable. Most of which feeling like it goes against morality.

To keep it simple, I wonder if there is any help or studies for someone of my age that don't involve drugs?

I have noticed that the pharmaceutical companies put drugs on the market without adequate testing. Doctors are strapped by malpractice lawsuits and in turn result to misdiagnosis or treatment in order to not face a possible lawsuit. A few have confided this in me as well as many articles/books I have read. I have diabetes and care for myself due to these circumstances.

Is it just that I am at a loss with life and everything is upside down and backwards like a great deal of people state that I talk with and as it seems?

Is it depression? Reality? Lack of acceptance? Failure? All of the above due to my neurological SPD issue?

The SPD Help Line Answers

Oh Jon, I am so sorry you are/have gone through all of this. This is not an easy road is it!! Thank you for being brave enough to reach out for help and for sharing your honest story.

Ah, where to begin. Is there hope?? ABSOLUTELY! The key is finding a professional/professionals that can help you. The first place I would start is by getting yourself to an Occupational Therapist for an SPD evaluation. Then, get yourself into treatment with both an OT and a counselor who can help you deal with all of this!

It isn't too late, at all!!! Things will start to make sense as the evaluations and therapy progresses. Just to have a "name" for it, alone is a big relief. Then you will be taught how you can help yourself and better coping strategies.

I'm not going to lie... you will need to be motivated and be willing to follow through with all therapeutic activities suggested. If you are willing to do this, help will come!

I also want to suggest you join our online support group specifically for adults with SPD (diagnosed or undiagnosed, officially). It is a great place to find out more, reach out for support, give support, know you are not alone and learn as much as you can to help yourself! You can join by clicking here... SPD Adult SHARE. If you continue the strength and resolve to help yourself, help will come. Be open, honest, just as you have been here! And get into OT and counseling. You will need both.

I care about you and am concerned about you! You sound so down and as if you have lost hope. Hope is around the corner, Jon. Matter enough to yourself to find the help you need. And, one more request? Can you discard that label you use for yourself about "socially retarded". I think you certainly may have very real struggles in this area, and I also think there are explanations for it and things you can do to overcome it. Let's look at the strengths you have instead, and also work on the things that are more difficult. You are not stuck. I want you to work on it, ok? You are a very intelligent man, I can tell from the way you write! Let's see what we can do to focus on using those skills. Not everyone is a social butterfly. This is ok. Now you can find healthier coping mechanisms knowing WHY! And, things have changed over the years. Perhaps a different "label" would fit better... a neurologist and/or psychiatrist may be able to help identify your issues regarding the social skills and development. Please don't carry that label around anymore. There may be something more appropriate and a "better" explanation.

Oh, and meds? Nope, there really aren't meds for SPD specifically, but you may be helped by some (other than marijuana, as you have been doing) for your possible depression, anxiety etc. as a result of the SPD. Believe me, I understand that you have turned to the marijuana to this point to cope... this is not uncommon for untreated SPD... drugs or alcohol to cope. I just want more and better for you my dear!

Lastly, here are some articles that should help get you going, ok?

Using SI Theory To Help SPD Adults At Home And Work

Adolescent And Adult SPD

Adult SPD Checklist (fill it out and take it to an OT evaluation AND a therapist!

Are You Ready For Sensory Integrative OT

How Does Your Engine Run? (GREAT resource for adults too!!!)



Another great book for you?



I hope this helps and the resources I led you to do as well. Please take the time to matter to yourself and get the help you need, ok?

Give us any updates you can! I really want you to find the help you need and get motivated to help yourself. Can you do that?

Anyone else have any thoughts for Jon? Let him know he isn't alone, ok? We KNOW he is not!! Thank you in advance.

Take good care.