She is lost

by Jennifer
(South Carolina)

Hi everyone my daughter is 13 years old and although she was not diagnosed with SPD I can feel in my heart that she is suffering from many of the symptoms of SPD.

When my daughter was born 3 weeks gestation she spent a week in a hospital that did not have the proper equipment to properly care for her and finally called in the help of a great hospital who sent 3 doctors and 4 nurses to pick her up and take her to an advance hospital where she spent another week and a half before they let her go.

The concern was that she wouldn't live. She was so tiny but I had faith and very supportive family that prayed for us. When she finally turned 5 pounds they released her and of course I was scared out of my mind but my husband was very supportive of our situation.

I cant remember when it started all I remember is her eyebrows were gone, she couldn't seem to get along with other children for too long which led to me going into protective mom mode. I would throw her birthday parties to become more sociable. I would do arts and crafts to keep her mind occupied, we would sing, dance and create videos together. Many people would say I gave her to much but I almost lost her and to much was never good enough.

When she was in head start she could read really well in fact she would correct family members if they read her a bedtime story and mispronounced a word. She never got awards but teachers would say how smart she is and that they knew she would do great things through out school. I never understood the award thing but she would ask me all the time why don't I ever get an award and I would think of the most positive answer, I even brought awards so she wouldn't feel left out but as she got older it became obvious to her that it wasn't the same.

We lived in NY until she was in middle school her father and I divorced I eventually remarried and moved to SC where I reunited with an ex boyfriend and we eventually married etc. The first 2 years she was in middle school her grades completely changed and so did her behavior. Constantly getting suspended, acting out in school being bullied on a regular basis.

I would tell the proper individuals what was going on and they wouldn't give up on her. In fact the principal became very fond of her. Unfortunately this did not help the bullying eventually she started cutting herself which thank god was short lived.

For several years she has come to pull out her eyelashes, eyebrows and the top of her hair. Every summer she goes to NY with her father but this year was different and I don't know why. Two weeks before she came back my sister calls me and says you have to do something she is pulling out her hair and has lost so much she is about to be bald. The crazy thing about this is that her father didn't even realize what was going on and he wants to blame it on everything else and not find a solution or a reason.

Well when she did arrive it took everything inside of me to not break down and cry and everyday I look at her and wish that I could find what she is going through and save her from whatever is causing her this pain. My daughter's hair is almost gone, the few friends that she had are disappearing slowly but surely her school says that they cant help so we are going to begin mental health counseling.

In the mean time she is lost and everyday I do the best to find her because no one else has the time and patience.