Self calming to prevent anxiety attacks.

by Randa
(Texas)

How do I get my 12 year old son to calm himself when he is over stimulated and gets fearful? I never know what will set him off. It could be the weather, or even a topic of conversation in class ie. A nuclear attack. He gets upset and then he has an anxiety attack. His stomach starts to hurt and he can not finish class. We held him back in the fourth grade because of excessive absences and immaturity. I don't want to repeat that because of the other consequences. He has trouble fitting in as it is. I can calm him down by scratching his arms and legs, but he says that it is not the same if he has to do it for himself. I can not go to school with him every day, or drop work every time he needs to be calmed down.

I am just very frustrated. He needs to recognize the start of this downward spiral and be able to derail it himself if he is ever going to be successful in a school environment. He makes good grades and is able to keep up with the subjects, he just misses too much school. I feel like a bad person for making him stay at school when he feels bad, and for not believing him when he says he feels bad. At this point I don't know if he really doesn't feel well or if he has let the fears take over.