Please tell me I'm not alone.

by Danielle
(New York)

I'm nineteen years old and have been diagnosed with SPD for as long as I can reach back into my memories. I've dealt with a hodgepodge of sensory issues, the whole works. I underwent a series of therapy sessions when I was ten that I believed helped me assimilate better into society, and it got me back on track.

So now, years later, after finally being able to go about my business and accept my past experience dealing with other humans who could never understand my disorder unless they were educated on it, I have suddenly fallen prey to panic attacks. About everything. There is no rhyme or reason to them; I'll be eating something I've had for years but it'll taste different somehow and I believe my throat is closing due to an allergic reaction. Every time I eat I panic, so I barely eat now. Every time I try driving a car, I have a panic attack. Same thing goes for if it's too bright, or too loud, or it smells strange, or if I brush up against some material I hate (personally, I loathe felt). I was just wondering if anyone else who is an adult with SPD has the same panic disorder as I do, and if it is exclusively a byproduct of my SPD... because its so difficult to explain my random panic attacks to other people, and what causes them to happen. Any input, stories, anything at all would be of the utmost comfort for me.