Not sure what my next move is.
by Zoe
(England)
Hi,
I have just recently come across this site after constant google searches relating to my issue. I guess I wanted to see if anyone else was struggling with the same things I do and my searches bought this page up.
Since as long as I can remember, I have been very sensitive to certain sounds. I have always been extremely bothered by the sounds of 'distant music' or 'distant television', however the sounds only bother me when they are 'distant' ie - through a door in another room. As I live with other people, I fall asleep with my fingers in my ears so I don't have to hear that 'canned' distant sound of the TV in the next room. If I do happen to hear it, I become extremely irritable and my heart races. I know it sounds bizzarre, but it makes me so stressed that I have been known to burst in to tears of frustration. Of course, this hasn't helped my relationship with the people I live with and I can't help but resent them - yet would never admit my issues to them. As a result of wearing ear plugs or sticking my fingers in my ears each night, I have been prone to ear aches and wax blockages which is concerning.
The main issue for me is sniffing. I have always been extremely sensitive to people that sniff and cough. I remember being around 6 years old and screaming and crying at my sister when she had a cold because the sniffing absolutely grated on me. I can't have been very easy to live with. Now, I am working in the same office as a man who has a habitual sniff. The constant sniffing has
become such an issue for me that I regularly have to take myself in to the bathroom to cry. I've even become obsessive about the sniffing and recording how often he sniffs - to try and take my mind off how upsetting it is for me. He has this 'constant sniff' for around 10 months teamed with 'constant throat clearing'. I know to any normal person it would merely be slightly irritating and nothing more but I can't seem to cope with it. I dread coming in to work and have even contemplated quitting just so I don't have to be around this man anymore. I take ear plugs with me to work but they don't block out every sound and I am becoming quite a recluse at work. I don't speak to people because I feel constantly on edge. I realise that this is making me seem like a very unfriendly and unapproachable person.
I'm not sure if it's linked at all but I also have problems in touching certain objects and foods and saying certain words. There are some foods I will refuse to eat and even say the words of. I will not touch certain wrappers, certain drinks, anything sticky, certain foods and products. I will not drink out of cups and mugs that have contained something I have a phobia of. I say phobia, because I really do feel that is what it is. The sheer thought of touching or eating or being near these certain foods/products absolutely mortifies me - I simply will not do it. These issues aren't as destructive to me as the sound problems but I am not sure if they can at all be linked?
I'm really struggling to know what to do :(