My parents don't think I have SPD

by A.M.
(Oklahoma, USA)

I am 14 and I believe I have spd. The only problem is that when I try to talk to my parents about it they snap at me and shut me down like I'm saying there bad parents or something.

From the time I can remember, I've had symptoms, but my parents just shrugged at them and adapted. Your crying over your sock seam? Suck it up, it's just a sock and we need to get to school, your brother had the same problem when be was your age.

You don't like bright lights? Don't look at them then. You can't wear gloves because the rubbing in-between your fingers? Put some lotion on them. You can't deal with loud places? Put some earplugs in, you get used to it.

They laugh at me like I'm trying to get attention when I'm trying to reach out to them about it. My brothers also have some of these symptoms but never as bad as me. The only problem is that because of that, my parents think it totally normal. Since they don't let me talk to them about what I'm going threw, I haven't been diagnosed and they get bad at me for the things I do.

Just yesterday I went to a play with my mom and grandparents and I felt very overwhelmed so I asked my mom if I could sit on the outside so I wouldn't feel as cornered in, but she said I was acting ridiculous and down right rude because sitting on the edge would mean sitting away from my grandparents.

After this, I was having anxiety's and trying to calm down and me mom asked why I was acting so weird, I said it was because I felt really claustrophobic and she said to ask to switch seats with my grandma with would put me on the other end, but I didn't want to make my elderly grandma have to crawl over people upon my weird and outrageous request. I told my mom this and she acted like I was being outrageous myself, so I had to distract myself with crumbling and uncrumbling my pamphlet while trying not to break out into tears.

Most people with spd get it diagnosed when they are toddlers by their parents, but my parents seem to think I'm just a weird problem child but not with being rebellious or anything, just with the different sensory problems I have.

My mom and dad both are always mad at me because the only things I eat are macaroni and cheese, chicken strips, potatoes, and spaghetti with out sauce. I get tired of people asking me why I can only eat a limited number of things and having no answer for them.

My first brother will eat anything you put in front of him no matter what it is and no matter the temperature, and seems to have opposite symptoms as me, witch make him stand out like a sore thumb, but everyone thinks it's his personality, except me of course.

My second brother used to be like me, needing special socks, being a picky eater, just overly sensitive in general, but he seemed to grow out of it by the time he was a teenager. Now he's in the Navy and doing dandy with a strong social life and very outgoing personality.

I'm the only one that it's having a negative impact on, but my family calls me a conspiracy theorist and shuts me down. I have learned to manage my symptoms but it helps to have support and for people to be aware. I want to have a reason that I don't let people touch me, why I have to rock back and forth when sitting still, why I need to sleep with a zillion blankets on me in the summer, why I can't eat pizza without sauce and why I can't go to places with my friends because I'll probably have an emotional breakdown. but I can't tell them why because if I say it's because I have spd, than I'm afraid I'm lying about a serious issue, because if I haven't been diagnosed than there's no way to know if I really have it or if I am a conspiracy theorist.

It also doesn't help that my parents are divorced, and since it happened my symptoms are getting worse.