Might be too much info but could this explain it all?

by Debrah
(USA)

I was adopted at 4, no real fears not disorders yet! By 8 I had a major phobia of dogs, no clue how or why. Never attacked or witnessed an aggressive dog. Phobia of spiders, ants summer bugs. In fact while many kids got excited about summer, I would find myself stresed that it meant the almost painful heat would come along with bugs.

As a child being tickled was complete hell, I flew off a couch being tickled and knocked myself out by accidentally hitting my head on a coffee table.

Brushing my teeth would tickle and cause me to laugh during the daily task..not so much as a grew older.

In my teens I started getting higher anxiety in loud situations, or silent ones. I hate being in a open field. I have no idea why..its calm quiet to many but to me its stressful!

I became petrified of heights to the point going on the escalator with my kids would cause them to be embarrassed. I would grip both rails and almost squat in case I feel. I had fallen down 2 in my teens and was not drunk or high.

I walk into things, spill many drinks at the table, in school they called me "spillz" as I would always spill any thing.

I was diagnosed with ADHD and medicated with a speed type drug and its seems to have made my anxiety worse.

I cannot handle screaming by my kids but I scream alot with out realising.

I have always bit my nails and still suck my thumb.

I am fairly good at functioning in public but in private I now avoid going places. I'm becoming more and more isolated.

I try very hard to follow directions but I almost always forget something causing frustration with co workers and family.
Adding to my anxiety.

I do not cook often and never put together the touching of the food. But I hate the feeling of opening meat. I hate touching carrots to cut them. I do not enjoy cutting veggies or meat.

I do not sleep well at all unless I take a sleeping pill.

I also am very sensitive to pain! During a c-section, I could feel so much pain even after the freezing I managed to break free of the table restraints and knock the screen over, they had no choice but to put me under to say complete the surgery.

Pap Smears are not just painful in a extreme way but they make me sick, the sounds of the speculum is enough to cause me gag.

Driving is the most stressful matter... I once tried to explain to my friends "I fee more inertia then normal". Turning corners even slowly feels like flying, acceleration makes me plug my ears. I cannot relax there my friends cannot relax.

I sincerely pray this is the reason for all my strange behaviour and that I can be helped. I am normal in wanting a calm normal life like everyone else.