Help!

by Tiffany
(New York)

My brother is twelve years old. He is extremely careless in so many things such as school work, he doesn't even have the responsibility to write down his homework, he lies about finishing his work, and when he misses school days he doesn't bother asking for the work from his peers. He isn't good at making friends in school either. He has changed schools before mainly because he was greatly disliked by his teachers, and was even told to be put in special education by his old school. My mom was stupid enough to not get him help, but instead switched schools before informing them the special classes he was recommended to (his new school had to find out themselves) because she didn't want him to be in that environment. I guess, his behavior is not that bad, since his current school hasn't switched him to special e.d. But unfortunately, his grades are still dropping.

Rarely there is a case where he chooses to do things without having to be retold excessively. He doesn't take into personal hygiene much (too lazy to take showers even after he's told his head stinks, hardly ever flushes). Recently he's even urinated in soda cans because he was too lazy to walk to 3 available bathrooms we have in our house.

Back when he was at his old school, the doctor recommended him pills, just to try out to see if his concentration would get better (I think for ADD), but my mother got him off it. He is also extremely stubborn, doesn't like to eat because he's so picky and doesn't like to sleep on time.

All he likes to partake in is watching television, playing computer and using other electronic devices. Plus we can't just throw away our electronics just because of him, especially since we like to watch educational channels like the History or Discovery. But it's just that he would rather watch t.v. than eat. It's really aggravating just how stubborn he is. -_-
I know he has the potential to do better, but we don't know what to do about him.

So far, we haven't found a good place to get him..., how to say..., diagnosed? So can anyone can identify his problem, or recommend any websites that list great psychiatrists in the state of New York.