Grown Up Now!!!!

by
(USA)

My daughter was born with this disorder. It did not affect her brain at all. She is a great college student but socially it has its drawbacks. She went out the other night and it was hard on her when someone unexpectedly pulled on her arm. It took a while to get over it. She does not like to be touched with out her permission. What can I do. I have tried everything for her over the years.



She is a young adult now. Any suggestions?



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Jul 28, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		I'm a tactile-defensive college student...
by: Anonymous

Like your daughter, I have issues with people touching me without my permission, among other things. If someone touches me in the arm unexpectedly, it almost feels like they're punching or slapping me, just without the pain. I still get the shock of it.

So I can fully understand why your daughter would have trouble in those situations then. I've personally dealt with it in a number of ways, but it's easier for me simply because I'm male. People generally don't touch men in a friendly manner like they do women. And if they do, they understand more why I don't want to be touched.

Unfortunately, when I'm stressed out, my reactions come strong and fast. I've snapped, screamed, and ripped my arms away from people. If I'm more conscious of my actions, I can gently move the body part that's being touched away, and will continue to do this until the other person gets the point, even if I have to move to the other side of the room. And I stay away from parties where most people are intoxicated and more likely to offend my no-touching rule.

I'd recommend that your daughter explain to the people she knows that unsolicited touching makes her feel uncomfortable in order to prevent friends from doing it, and then take advantage of body language in more public situations. One is less likely to touch you if you keep your arms closer to your body or stiffen when people do touch you. Of course, this has social consequences of its own, but everyone needs to start somewhere.
Jan 12, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		mine are toddlers...but
by: Anonymous

Have you heard of Deb Lipsky? She's amazing, and may be of great help... here's some info I copied, best of luck!!

http://www.lipskyrichardsautism.com/

Deb Lipsky and Will Richards met in the Spring of 2005. Deb had recently been diagnosed as autistic after living in semi-seclusion for the previous 18 years on a farm in rural Aroostook County, Maine, near the Canadian border. After being diagnosed she decided to return to the work force She asked herself what sort of job would be suitable for an autistic woman in her forties. The only autistic person she was familiar with was Temple Grandin so she decided that she would become a national speaker. Although she had a Masters degree in counseling and education she lacked the social skills required to interact with an audience. She took Bard training to learn the art of verbal communication. Based on that, she offered herself to a nation-wide seminar company and was given a try. She was an instant success but difficulties with transitions and changes led to an increase in meltdowns which jeopardized her career plans. She also was involved as a board member and educator for the Autism Society of Maine.
Apr 30, 2009
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starstarstarstarstar 		Same here
by: deb

My son is in high school - he does very well but the sudden,surprise touch still makes him very uncomfortable and even angry - lot's of his issues have gotten better but not this one - I am clueless and he doesn't like to talk about it...

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