Does my child have sensory issues or are we making a big thing out of nothing like the school thinks we are?

by Ian
(North Wales)

My son is 5 years old and suffers from constipation, faecal impaction and an anal fissure. As a result he is still in nappies and his medication makes his stools liquid. My child will not urinate on the toilet and for the past 12 months holds in his wee all day when he is at school, even though we can get him to sit on the toilet at times. He is on the waiting list for CAHMS for autism.

The school fail to notice many of his traits, such as chewing on toys and things which he does a lot at home, his sensitivity to certain loud noises like hand dryers (which for most of his childhood has made it difficult for us to take him anywhere) and loud vehicle noises such as tractors scare him and he covers his ears. My child also likes to press his skin against our skin, lifting his top up and rubbing his belly against our arms etc.

With foods he has a thing about textures, doesn't like the peel on apples, doesnt like hard textured chips, but will eat soft chips. He doesn't like to be bare foot on the cold floor, but sometimes it doesn't bother him. Doesn't like the slightest drop of water on his face when I wash his hair and I have to use a rung out cloth which is a long task. Does not tell you when he wants to go to the toilet and certainly won't go of his own accord.

My son has a teaching assistant at school to help him with his toileting and it is only recent that they acknowledge he is uncomfortable going to the toilet with his peers and doesn't like the handryer and he now gets taken to more private staff toilets at school. the school have said he has weed on the toilet, but prefers to wee in his nappy.

The Occupational therapist say he has poor balance, but she has made the point he is only 5. she also says he is flat footed and muscles in his hands are weak and underdeveloped and he now uses the crossover pencil grip to aid his writing.

The things like chewing on things only seem to happen at home,but the school say he doesn't do this or it goes un noticed. He did not chew on anything whilst at the O.T appointment, which we would have liked therapist to see this.

He never used to make eye contact at all with people which was noted by his paediatricians that he had fleeting eye contact although this has improved in the last 18 months there are times when he still will not give eye contact.

My son was slow with his speech and has since seen a speech therapist who said his speech was age appropriate. The occupational therapist acknowledged that he is slurred with his speech.

Are we overreacting like the school seems to think we are, or are we right to have these concerns and are these sensory issues/autism? We are desperate for answers as we would like him to get help as soon as possible.