Difficulty coping with braces (18 years old)

by Tanya
(Costa Rica)

We are at a crossroads and need advice....do we continue with the braces or have them removed?

Our son had 4 teeth pulled with no issue to make room for all his teeth in his small mouth. But, when the top row of braces were put on, and once he sat in a chair in the waiting room waiting for me to finish paying, he came unglued. It took us about 30 minutes to get him out of the waiting room. Then it took me 2 hours to get him into the car. He was screaming, yelling, crying, demanding to take them off.

The dentist came out and convinced him to give them a try. We barely made it home before he began again. By 9pm, I removed the wire. He was then able to sleep. But, in the morning we went in and had the 8 front braces removed, leaving the 4 back braces on, which he seemed able to tolerate with the deal that he would come back in a month to add two more and slowly get him used to the braces so that we could correct his overbite and pull his teeth in.

We had the next two installed two days ago. They are miniute braces and mounted on the back edge of this teeth, not the top middle to keep them as far away from his gums as possible. Within 30 minutes, he asked for them to be removed, but was much calmer than before.

He refused to go to school the following day and keeps his fingers in his mouth over the two new braces. He began all the yelling about 24 hours in. We would like him to be able to conquer this so that he knows he can do it and not opt out or cop out as he usually does with anything that he cannot tolerate. He is 18 and we worry that he will not be able to wear a tie when required, or a uniform, etc.

His sensory issues are severe, we do not deny this. But, are we helping him by removing the two tiny braces or are we hurting him by allowing him to not learn to cope? It is such a hard, fine line. We want him to be brave, but he seems indifferent to this concept. He says he does not care.

He does not care if his teeth are crooked. With sensory issues being in addition to all his other LD's, we desire that his presentation or appearance be in his favor and not another strike against him if at all possible.

I am not sure he can handle the feeling of plastic in his mouth as invisaline seems to come up as an alternative to kids with LD's. And a retainer will be thrown across the floor I am sure.

We currently do not know what to do. Anyone else had a similar situation? Remember, he is older (a man in fact) and we are struggling with teaching him life lessons and situations at the same time. We have asked him to handle this like an adult and not scream at us, but then we just get the "deadly" stare. He has been pushing us and mean to us and we have done our best to remain calm and comforting, but he is not interested in our being nice or being calm. He can only focus on how this sensation that he does not like.

It is hard for sure, especially to see him in so much discomfort. But, is some discomfort ok in order to get him used to these? How much time do we give it?

Thank you so much for your advice.