Could my daughter have SPD?

by Jo
(UK)

I have always thought that there was something unusual about my daughter but my husband has never been convinced. She has just turned 6 and in summary she:-

As a baby:-
- had extremely bad colic - screamed all day and night and nothing would calm her until about 6 months
- had a phobia of men with beards including (to my embarrassment) her grandfather and was very uptight with other people too
- hardly slept as soon as she woke up in the night she would feed but then be up again for hours until I could get her back to sleep.
- would only sleep when held upright, with lots of frantic rocking and jigging, room pacing and shushing.

As a toddler:-
- won't wear any clothing which was too tight or too loose, had zips, buttons, itchy labels or seams or was bobbled or rough to the touch
- hated being wet or dirty, had to change her tops several times a day
- hated community centres/large halls, would scream whenever we went to one. I picked her kindergarten by seeing which one she didn't scream all the way round!
- got very fussy with foods, taste and texture and has a very limited repertoire. This has improved but only very slowly and I dread her going over to friends houses for dinner - I always have to ask them to do a meal she'll eat.
- still had problems going to sleep
- liked structure and routine, struggled with free play

Now:-
- She is July born so young for her school year. Her teachers say she is just immature for her age.
- Very anxious, never wants to be left alone and is sad and clingy. Cries and tells me she wants me to be at school all the time. Hates the dark and won't even go into another room on her own in the day, unless her sister goes with her
- Lays awake hours to go to sleep unless I sit with her. In bed she seems to be worrying about me dying, content next days packed lunch etc.
- Struggling in particular with maths at school. Teachers say she doesn't pay attention or listen and misses key teaching points. She has been diagnosed with glue ear but the teachers have not been helpful told me there is nothing wrong with her hearing despite the fact I tell them she can lip read and copies/follows others. I think as the work has got harder she can't hide it.
- I saw an educational psychologist privately this week and haven't had the report yet but she has suggested possible auditory processing disorder. Is this related to SPD?
- My daughter struggles to pay attention, has a terrible memory and is very forgetful and as a result can't learn her number bonds, 2,4,6,8 sequences or 1-20 numbers in order. She does achieve the targets eventually but months after her peers and with a lot of hard work.
- Doesn't seem as aware of the world around her as her friends and doesn't seem to notice things as much.
- We still have clothing and food problems - better than in the past but still an uphill struggle. A more recent issue has been socks and being able to do her shoes up tightly enough as well as old favourite problems like labels.
- She is very quiet and shy and doesn't ever want to be the centre of attention but she does seem to be in a nice group of girls and has a fair number of friends. But this always baffles me because she won't even speak to them in the street outside school she gets so shy!

Anyway, I tend to worry and my husband says she's normal and I'm too easy on her and need to clamp down on her difficult behaviours. But it's easy for him to say. He's not the one who has gone through every single item in her wardrobe with her still refusing to wear any of it! Now she's at school and has a uniform my life is so much easier!

Any advice would be gratefully received. Should I get SPD checked out or is she just a normal girl and I'm worrying unnecessarily?

Thank you.