Concerns for my 3 year old SPD daughter and school

by Cornejo's
(Sugar Land, Texas)

My daughter was diagnosed with SPD when she was 15 months old when her speech therapist noticed there were many sensory issues and hypotonia going on (she was seeing her for a swallowing disorder). We have now been seeing the OT for almost 2 years.

We have tried placing her in daycare when she was 18 months old for 3 full days and she just didn't like it. Screamed and cried the entire time. She even wore socks on her hands and would jump up and scramble away if another child got close to her. The OT told me to stick it out for awhile, and after 6 months we took her out. She is now coming up on her 3rd birthday (next month)and even though some of her symptoms have gotten better she still has a lot of issues. There is no way she will be able to function in a regular classroom at all.

I got an evaluation from out local school and they told me that since her speech is well above normal and her cognitive skills are great that there was nothing that they could do for her. I just needed to place her in a regular pre-k next year. We have thought about this and even with accommodations we still feel as if she isn't going to be able to function.

Here are her problems: No eye contact or speech with peers , no eye contact or speech with adults when parents aren't around, plays alone or doesn't play at all and watches peers to make sure they aren't coming close to her, SEVERE attachment to mother, doesn't like loud noises or certain normal smells, doesn't like water, scared of fast movement, ultra sensitive to mild pain, i.e scraps or bruises, NOT potty trained or anywhere close to it (can't tell when she has to go or even when she is dirty or wet unless running down her legs), fears "the guy" (any man other than her father and 1 grandfather), refuses to let anyone but her mother change her, doesn't like to be touched by adults other than immediate family, gags and shutters when seeing bugs and will scream and is in flight mode when they get close, doesn't like to eat around others and has a limited diet(she also has a fructose malabsorption problem). There are many others, but these are the ones that concern us the most with school.

I am at a total loss on what we should do. Unfortunately it's going to have to be an all or nothing situation. If she goes to pre-k her mother will have to go back to work full time to pay for it.