Behaviour, self esteem, anger, violence never ending?

Hi everyone I'm a mother to 7yr old boy. My son is most intelligent affectionate well mannered you will ever meet. Shy quiet, book worm, so kind and I could praise him till cows come home. If you can last I'd ask people take look to see if this sounds like you, or if I'm only one feelin like I'm going nuts?

Then his other side, never slept as baby, never settled for anyone but me. Doctor after doctor said I must have post natal depression when I'd turn up white as ghost, drained and end my tether. I tried anti depression but as mother I knew my son being up 22hour a day, ever day till he turned 4yrs, was just not normal.

No time hiring baby sitter as he never stop crying hurting himself, spent more time in his bedroom I'd fall asleep before Babysitter got chance to stay.

Now 7 we've been through tones of stuff as a mother and son. I researched every angel I could applied for it all ot therapy, clinics, psychology everything I could imagine we went through it.

Designed spd bedroom in our new home, for his own personal comfort after a night of such melt down at bedtime that he attempted lock himself in bathroom and lashed out hitting me kicking me, punching walls, eyes dilated face red with frustration over fact bedtime had arrived he was not happy boy.

Now we've yr and half later been through so many appointments still no final diagnosis. First it was spd with autism. Then and now it could be adhd their just not sure what to call it.

His education is so above average that their not concerned about that. Then comes is behaviour in general I describe it as his melt downs so bad his self esteem hit rock bottom or if he gets homework wrong by his definition colouring outside lines he could cry forr hour on end. He started now that he is becoming violent it's so scary it's reduces me to tears. I restrain him he gets worse, I ignore him he harms himself. It's so sad hurtful to pay he has reduced me as grown woman and mother to tears depressed, angry not knowing how else to get help.

Have had so many appointment Joe now waiting on next lot left in limbo with ticking time bomb of how he is going be when he wakes up all way bed time.

Wanted share as felt it important be honest as possible so please god someone else out there could say hey that just like me, or someone else out there might have their advice to share on dealing with child on such level a day trip becomes a battle. A treat becomes a nightmare, a shopping trip is so anxious you wish you stayed home, so I'm telling you all now your not alone and I'm hoping I'm not to.

Thank you for reading my daily life

Yvonne