Behavior or SPD

by Jen Jones
(St Louis Mo)

I have a 5 year old nephew who's a problem and allowed to only eat rubbish, I mean pure rubbish. He will only eat pop tarts,cereal, sweets, oreos, chocolate pretty much candy of any kind,, squeeze yogurt, fruit gummys, only food that's real will be buttered noodles with cheese. His diet is purely sugar/ starch.

He has never eaten fruits or vegetables as my daughter let him self feed vs spoon feeding him as an infant. If you try to give him food he will not budge if it comes out if s package he'll be on it.

He was an early talker, great logic and reasoning skills. No other coordination problems. I have a son that has SPD, now after OT he's developed gear skills to cope and at 8 you wouldn't know he had SPD.

my point is my son had other things that went with SPD and ADHD- was delayed in speech, freaked when he got his nails or hair cut, always on the go - a sensory seekers, no impulse control.

I want to help my sister but I really think she has a OD defiant child not SPD. I am worried about my nephews health. They say he has SPD because one OT said he might have it. He's in Special needs public preschool (taught by special ed, speech and OTs). they think
It's behavior but my sister still thinks it's SPD.

my question is how can you determine when it's SPD vs poor parenting skills of a defiant child? I want to be supportive and as a Mother who has a son with SPD/ ADHD I really think he has a behavior issues. He's gotten kicked out of other preschools for saying stuff like I will kill you if I don't get my way etc. please help us!