Aspie Mom

by Liza
(Milwaukee)

I'm 50 years old and finally it all makes sense!

My whole life I have wondered what was wrong with me...am I crazy? Am I normal? What's wrong with me?!

I have been to many therapists in my adult life taking to them about some of the issues listed here and they have not known what to tell me! Or they give me diagnosis's like generalized panic disorder, etc.

Ok, fine...I can see that...but they also act as if just doing this or that (following their advice) is going to help. There's the difference between a proper diagnosis and a misdiagnosis right there...the help you get.

Years and years of trying to get better, just to find that these things are WHO I am, not some foreign thing that entered my body due to certain circumstances.

I believe I am an Aspie. The trouble is in finding someone who will believe me and listen to me. I already get the silent unspoken doubts from family members so I really don't need professionals treating me like it's all in my head or something.

Every time I look at checklists, tests, etc. online I get the same results! It even throws me back into past experiences and I just start to cry because no one knew what was going on.

I grew up neglected, for the most part, so I guess I just learned to keep things to myself. Here I thought that I acted the way I did strictly because I felt unloved and unwanted...which in a way still is the case...but it was the way an Aspie would have responded.

Therapist after therapist and no one ever made the connection! Maybe that's why I'm not hopeful of getting someone to listen to me now at the age of 50. At least I have some relief that after all these years of searching I finally have answers!

I no longer wonder "What's wrong with me?" Instead I know that there's nothing wrong with me. I'm an Aspie...and I'm proud!