Answers so much

by elizabeth
(california)

I am a 28 yr female. This is the first time I've ever sat down and read through the full array of symptoms spd-ers experience, and I'm so glad I did. I never thought my symptoms fit the range of sensory symptoms but I'm pleasantly surprised to learn they do.

I've always had a variety of "quirks" and I've been desperately searching for a "why" for years. I have depression, and certain things give me anxiety but not enough that i get an actual anxiety diagnosis. I also get chronic migraines. I feel like I don't want to be someone who claims they have all these different things wrong with them but I just can't go to a doctor I feel like I can't properly convey myself to them. This makes so much sense though, the fact that an spd sufferer can experience both too much/too little.

I have to have a blanket on when I sleep, even if it's warm, I feel "better" with one on. I feel "better" when I'm wearing pants/jeggings/leggings as opposed to skirts/shorts. I can't stand anyone to touch/hug me except for my husband, not even my daughter. Showers are fine but I HATE water/liquid splashed on me, especially in my face. I get bruises all the time from hitting/running into stuff, and I bruise extremely easily. Things that aren't even painful to my 9yr old are excruciating to me, even a poke on the arm.

Fidgeting is practically my trademark, that and my terrible memory, tunnel vision, and "zoning out". I also really bad about picking my face, I'll go looking for things to mess with even though I know i will have horrible marks 10 minutes later. I can't stay focused to save my life and never finish anything, not even video games. I hate going places alone and generally like to stay home. I can't stand the mall. Amusement parks/malls/anywhere with a lot of light and sound is almost a guaranteed migraine.

I talk very loud, (according to other people) and am frequently messing up when i talk/misspeaking. My handwriting is awful. I definitely exhibit emotional responses to frustrating things, and situations. I am extremely impatient, and the one thing that stresses me out the most is decision making. I don't like eye contact and have a few ocd type qualities, (i have to check the mailbox every time i pass it, even on Sunday, even if I've already checked it.)

I remember one specific time my family went to visit some friends and they decided to have a water balloon fight, first one that hit me felt like a punch, made me instantly enraged, so i went back in the house and cried. Needless to say, no more of those. I'm going to show my husband the list of symptoms and hope and pray he understands, as I have been searching for a cause for my "broken brain" as we call it for sooo long.