I'm An SPD Advocate... Are You?
Stop running, Michael!" I ineffectively command for the third time, at a family holiday gathering. Michael is excited, over stimulated, and reckless. I am stressed, exhausted, and ready to go home. We've been here for thirty minutes.Looking forward to this moment (twenty times a day) for the last two weeks, he is delighted to see his cousins, and pleased to be with family.
"Arrggh! Somebody get him off of me!" shouts his favorite cousin.
"No! Michael, don't touch that, it's glass."
"Really, if you would just be a little firmer with him, he would behave."
"He should sit in the kitchen, you know, he makes such a mess . . . "
"Of course, he'll do fine in a public school. He'll adapt. He'll have to."
"Honestly, you over protect him. He needs challenges!"
"Now, look, he's hiding and crying under the table. What's wrong with him?"
Sound familiar?
The more we learn about Sensory Integration Dysfunction, the more we realize what triggers our child. We are seeing circumstances, and situations he is unable to cope with. Can't... NOT won't. As he goes through the process of therapy we move along with him, identifying, comprehending, assisting, and yes, challenging. The right challenges with the capability of success.
Webster's Dictionary defines the word advocate as "a person who speaks or writes in support of another. To champion, support, encourage, advance, promote, recommend, approve, and endorse."
We are our children's only full time advocate. Our kids need us to learn as much about their disorders as we can. They need us to understand what they are going through, every day. They need us to feel how frightening and chaotic their world can be. Above all else, they need us to be their advocates.
To say, "No more" when it needs to be said.
To say, "You can do it, I know you can!" when we know they can.
To say, "I know what he needs" because we really do.
If your extended family is coming along this journey with you, learning as you go, incorporating new strategies, realizing limitations, wonderful! This is what we all want.
If this is not how things are going with the relatives, then it's up to you, as your child's advocate, to help them learn, if you can. If that is truly not possible, it is also your responsibility to set limits for your child, and the family.
As we attend family gatherings, we must put our child first. We decide when we come and when we go. If our boy's behavior is escalating, or someone is overbearing toward our child, we take him for a quiet walk. We sit by his side during stressful meals. We intervene in a calm way when the other children don't realize he is just very happy to see them. When we know he's had enough, we leave.
Granted, this doesn't always make us the most popular members of our family, or friends. But our first priority must be to the child who cannot speak for himself. Who usually doesn't even know he is committing social faux pas.
We have learned to say "thank you, but not this time," to events we know would be disasters, understanding that when we do not consider our boy's needs, we are responsible for exposing him to immeasurable terror, confusion, anger, and discouragement.
Some holidays now, we spend quietly. There is a lot to be said for "peace on earth". Especially when you find it in your own little house. There are other holidays we visit with relatives, and friends. Usually low key, with a limited number of people. This is enough of an ordeal for our boy, right now.
What challenges are appropriate are decisions you, the therapists, and the doctor make together, according to your own child's therapeutic plan, and progress. This principle of advocacy extends to daycare, babysitters, friends, schools, and doctors. Be precise about what your child needs. Speak up. Check up. Smile and nod, then insist.
Aggressive behavior is too much. No one wants to help a belligerent person. Passive behavior is too little. Who will listen if we won't say?
Being assertive is stating positively with confidence in a persistent way. The advocate wields the weapon called assertiveness.
So, enjoy family gatherings and holidays, include your child in all the activities and traditions he is comfortable with. Standing beside him, hand in hand. Chin up, with a smile on your face, and assertiveness in your heart.
I am the parent of a bright, loving, funny, special needs little boy.
I am his advocate.
Are you?
Copyright © Michelle Morris. Reprinted with permission
About the Author:
Michelle Morris is the mother of six, and parent of a child with a
Sensory Processing Disorder. She
is whole heartedly dedicated to promoting awareness and advocacy for families
with SPD children. She has published over 30 articles supporting and
educating parents about SPD.
Related Resources
Coping With Emotions In SPD - A reader asks about coping with emotions in SPDSensory Processing Disorder Checklist - comprehensive SPD Checklist; signs and symptoms of tactile, auditory, olfactory and oral defensiveness, as well as proprioceptive and vestibular dysfunction.
Special Education Advocacy - Find out the the information you need on special education advocacy so your child can be successful in school
Have A Great Story About SPD Advocacy?
Do you have any experience, strength, hope or a great story about SPD Advocacy? Share it with the visitors of Sensory-Processing-Disorder.com!
What Other Visitors Have Said
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
Lorenzo 
Lorenzo is a 3yr old, bright, funny and loving little boy. At Birth he had a stroke which caused seizures. I prayed over my child for him to be healthy …
SPD Advocate
My daughter's school district is refusing to provide services although the diagnosis of SPD has been confirmed. Does anyone know where I can find an educational …
How Can I Teach the Teacher?
My youngest daughter is seven, she has SPD. She was diagnosed at 3 1/2 after many different 'theories' as to what was 'wrong' with her.
I have provided …
Medical Law and Ethics Class Essay Not rated yet
Hello, I am doing an essay on why SPD isn't its own diagnosis yet and why it should be. How advocates and parents have to fight with insurance companies …
Help Me Help My Grandson With Resources In Florida Not rated yet
My name is Michele. I have a 4 yr old grandson named Jackson. He was diagnosed 2 yrs ago with SPD. Up until 1 year ago he was receiving the necessary …
Leave
An SPD Advocate & Return To
The Sensory Processing Disorder Home Page
Copyright
©
www.sensory-processing-disorder.com
Recent Articles
-
From existing in a box to living with the top down A balancing act
Dec 07, 24 05:17 PM
I am a 29 year old single mother. I was born with sensory processing disorder. I am amazed their are other adults out there like me that are aware of this -
Cannot sleep if I dont rub my feet on rough textured fabric
Dec 04, 24 05:00 PM
Hi, i just want to share if anyone is experiencing the same. Since i was a kid i cannot sleep if i dont rub my feet on a rough texture fabric which i have -
A teen with SPD and Autism
Nov 27, 24 06:01 PM
Hey I'm Andrew a 14 years old teen. I have Autism but I got diagnosed at age 13. Now I'm waiting for the therapy. It's very obvious that I have SPD too