Always knew something was off

by Audrey McCann
(austin, TX)

I'm 30 years old and have so many diagnoses.. ADHD, Bipolar, Eating disorders,Anxiety, OCD, Blah, Blah, Blah.. I dont medicate for any of it.. and just try and get by.. Im such a spaz, so freaking accident prone it isnt funny.. but can walk in 6 inch heels no problem (weird) and im really good at sports and dance (just have to attentively think about what im doing)

so anyway always knew i was a little different, but i assumed it had more to do with me being raised by deaf parents and a deaf family. i am 1 hearing in a 20 deaf family.

Im really weird about textures.. can't handle anything slimy, wet, soggy.. yuck.. although i *love* raw oysters.. but it takes me forever to eat them because oif the texture. i literally have to say "ok you know you love these, you can do it etc"

I'm not afraid of heights per se, however crossing bridges, or going on flyovers freaks me out.. almost to the point of dissociation.

I've had my share of head trauma.. mom flipped down a flight of stairs when she was preggers with me, used to slam my head off walls or anything hard when i would have tantrums, got kicked in the head by a cow when i was 8, and the list goes on...

my skin drives me *crazy* i cannot stand artificial air touching me.. its like i can feel the chemicals in teh AC, teh freon or something and it makes my skin crawl and burn. i can deal with a fan or natural wind.. but i cannot have AC on, unless i also have the windows or my sunroof open.

lights drive me insane.. especially florescent lights.. i can see them flicker almost to the point where they trigger mild seizures in me, definitely makes me nauseous and i get killer migraines. im always squinting in the sun and if im driving at night, headlights screw my vision.

cant seem to regulate my body temperature.. either too hot or too cold.. severe bowel issues..

took my adult checklist test and these were my scores.. pretty sure im off the charts in some places...

sensory modulation- 179 of 245 (73%)
sensory discrimination- 124 of 195 (64%)
sensory based motor skills- 72 of 105 (69%)
social/emotional- 94 of 110 (85%)
internal regulation- 31 of 35 (89%)