A Teenager With SPD

When I was younger my mom knew something was wrong with me. I would scream and cry for hours because the seem on my sock felt wrong in between my toes. The feeling of sheets would keep my up crying. I didn't sleep through the night until I was five. And I would accidentally run into everything. In preschool I accidentally gave another girl a black eye.

My mom had no way of dealing with me. After having two fairly normal boys, she didn't know how to deal with a highly sensitive girl. My mom took my to therapy once a week for 2-3 years and I learned to deal with my SPD. But I still remember some of the worst parts.

When I became frustrated, my skin started burning. My stomach and chest tightened and I felt like I was going to throw up. Even thinking about it now makes me nauseous.


What it's like now.

In the summer I have to sleep with a fan on, because I need the weight of multiple blankets on top of me to sleep. I get rashes and skin irritations constantly and I am never without Aloe Vera. When I am nervous I wrap both my arms around my waist/stomach, to comfort me. The feeling of dry soil sets me into panic, and I have to scrub my hands or take a shower to get that feeling off of me. Thinking about it makes my body tighten and my breathing speed up.

If I am already anxious of frustrated and I can hear multiple noises, radio, tv, parents, siblings. I have a hard time focusing. I hear everything which can be good and bad. I am able to listen and understand two conversations at once. I can sing along to a song and type an essay at the same time. But at the same time it can be really hard. If all the noises are at the same level I can't focus on one. But at a fair or concert I am very good and focusing on what the person next to me is saying.

Talking to my mom, she realized she also has SPD. When she was younger her parents gave her medication because they didn't know about SPD or different therapies. Looking back she also notices symptoms of SPD in both of my brothers.

As a teenager, no one knows about my SPD and most days I don't even think about it. But sometimes I still have to self soothe.

It helps me to make lists. I write down everything I need to do so I can see my schedule. It really helps with the stress.

I take lots of showers and naps. And sometimes it really feels good to scream into a pillow.

When I was younger I felt like no one understood me. I would cry because I didn't know how to explain my feelings. Reading different stories mad me laugh and cry, because I realized other people went through the same things. I wanted to share my story to reach the other people like me.