Unsure What My Daughter May Have Or If I'm Just A Bad Parent

by Denise
(NY)

My name is Denise and I have a 6-yr-old daughter in first grade who, for quite some time, has exhibited signs and symptoms which have been troubling. When she was 3 1/2 her father and I split up and she was 4 1/2 we moved 250 miles away from him....so for quite a while I attributed certain behavioral issues to the separation, moving, etc. On top of that we were also living with my sister and her family which added some additional stresses and different situations that she was not used to.

With that being said, we stayed with my sister for almost 2 years and I felt that after at least a year she should have adjusted pretty well, however every day was a struggle dealing with social/emotional behaviors that were frustrating for me as well as everyone else in the house. It hit me that there must really be a serious issue when things started happening at school and her daycare as well.

We have recently moved out of my sisters house which means she is facing some adjustments again so her behavior has changed again. I love her very much and hate to feel like I'm always mad at her because I've tried so many different methods and none seem to have a lasting effect. She is a creature of routine so I've made sure she knows what is expected of her, rules, etc. She has daily responsibilities to take care of herself as well as help me out. We also spend plenty of time together one-on-one. She is also in dance classes and would like to play baseball again this year. I feel like I'm doing my best as a single parent but there are still so many inconsistencies. In many ways I've blamed the history of my family since she's been born and since separating from my husband/her father, but if I keep doing this I know it won't make things any better.

My biggest concerns with her behavior are as follows:
- She seems to constantly be moving; Only completely still when sleeping
- Talks to herself alot; almost like coaching herself when alone or imitating school
- Trouble in social situations including family and friends; Yelling and trouble sharing
- Anxious about being left behind even though this has never happened ever in her life
- At times she flips out when touched, or when I try to brush her hair or fix her appearance
- Tantrums due to lack of emotional expression; she is very unsure how to tell me what shes feeling and I feel myself get frustrated which I know doesn't help either
- Much frustration and sometimes tantrums when her process is interrupted
- Decreased interest in independent activities; always want to be next to me
- ALOT OF SCREAMING. I say this because it seems like she never talks in a normal tone of voice unless its when shes talking to herself.

This is really the best summary I can give for he concerns I have. I've spoken to her Pediatrician and I submitted a survey from myself and her teach for ADD/ADHD but haven't heard anything back. In the interim, I've been doing research and other conditions seem to be a possibility.
Is there anything else I can do in the interim to help?

I even hate the thought of her possibly having to take medication!