Touching other peoples hair

A 5 year old boy is always touching the girls hair in his kindergarten class,he twirls,rubs,and spells their hair even after being told it's inappropriate to be touching other people without permission.

Is this something to be concerned about? Is he lacking something?

Suggestions please.

Comments for Touching other peoples hair

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Oct 27, 2024
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starstarstarstarstar 		My neurodivergent son keeps touching Afro hair
by: Anonymous

Can anyone help?

My 10 yr old neurodivergent son can’t stop touching his black friends hair. He is mixed race himself (although many people would not know this) and he is obsessed with his dad’s hair, but this is becoming a problem in the playground. He has fidget toys and it’s been explained to him but he can’t seem to help himself.

Does anyone have any ideas of how to help?
Mar 16, 2024
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sensory Input
by: Andrew

You can give him a sensory toy, I have some of these and they are very helpful. You can tell him to touch his own hair or to ask before, or to have fluffy stuff. Hope this helped you.
Jan 13, 2024
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starstarstarstarstar 		My mark on this
by: Gabi

As a autistic person myself, I can confirm, touching people's hair is a sensory point. A lot of times, you can find autistic people being drawn to soft and even shiny things (someone's hair can be shiny if it's well kept).

Now I myself have never went around touching strangers hair, because I'm high enough functioning that I can control that urge (and I know people won't like a stranger touching their hair).

Instead I focus on animals or objects. Believe when I say I have a ship ton of fluffy stuff animals that I regularly touch, pet, stroke or even just stick my face in, feeling the softness of the toy. I even do it to my own dog, because he doesn't mind it (and he's also a good boy who likes be pet and cuddled).

It just chalks up to sensory.
Oct 06, 2022
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starstarstarstarstar 		Found out something new to learn
by: Anonymous

This helped a lot cause my daughter's one classmate keeps doing it to her hair. So I called the to let them know what was going on. And they said she has a disability. And they can not disclose that. So I went looking online and found this.

Now I can explain to my daughter that she is not picking on you. It is just her disability that makes her do it. So my daughter can now understand and I know she will become friends with her. I teach my kids to treat everyone equally
Mar 22, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		Hair touching
by: Anonymous

The comment dated 3 March 2016 is evidently written by someone who has no comprehension of autism and the problems faced by autistic adults/children with sensory issues. Of course it is socially unacceptable to touch the hair of another without permission. However the autistic individual will struggle to control the urge and needs help and understanding.Sensory issues like this are not easy to solve but a little more tolerance would be a good start.
Dec 27, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		HAIR
by: Anonymous

I THINK AS LONG AD HE LERANS TO ASK PERMISSION ITS OK .
Mar 05, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Question for the last commenter
by: Anonymous

For anon who posted a comment right before me (Jan 17)

Tell me more about the hue...

My 6 year old has ASD (aspergers, recently diagnosed) and has always sought ought and enjoyed touching and playing with hair. She used to follow this little girl around preschool and play with her hair to the point the other kid was scared of her. We were able to teach her to only touch others hair with permission, but what is interesting is that she has also been talking about the color of songs sometimes. Maybe some sort of synesthesia, but I'm not quite sure as she has a hard time explaining it. She will also hum sounds sometimes when doing things, And when she was little we had our own little hum thing she made up and whenever I would do it she would come right to me.

Anyway your comment about giving it a pitch with a color really sounds like something my daughter would do, I don't have a specific questions, just hoping you could explain that a little more.
Jan 05, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Hair touch
by: Anonymous

I am a 27 year old woman with aspergers. Ever since I was 2 years old i would always touch people's hair. I still do it. It is only of people i know. I also do it to animals too and objects with hair or things that look and feel like it. With animals and people when i touch there hair i add a little saying to it with a high pitched "hue". Thats one of my ways to connect with people. I touch hair because i like the texture. Either its soft or course. I just love the feeling of it. When im close enough with people i like to tickle my face with their hair. I like hair brushing against my face. I also do the same thing with feathers.
Mar 03, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		High school student is touching others' hair
by: Anonymous

A new student in our school who has autism is touching other people's hair as well as simply getting too physically close to people and touching them without any reason to. I have addressed it when I've seen it. I am a para in the classroom. The teacher either hasn't seen it happen but has been told by more than one person that it is happening.

What bothers me about it is that if you need sensory input there are a million and one things you could touch without involving another person.
Keep a rabbit's foot in your pocket, those were popular many years ago, keep a smooth stone or a coin in your pocket. The logic does not hold up that anyone would need to touch someone's hair to get more sensory input in their lives. This may begin as a habit, but it is inexcusable that it has continued. To be a part of the world and be accepted, there are certain things you must do and respecting another person's right NOT to be touched without permission is one of them. I think we have lost sight of simply respecting that others have rights too. And if someone has an impulse to touch others that cannot be controlled then you should expect future problems with the law. This is not just a matter of manners. Nor does society need to become more sensitive to your issue in order to understand it. Some things are just wrong.
Aug 13, 2015
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starstarstarstar 		Autism and touching other people's hair
by: Joseph Lambert

Hello, my name is Joseph Lambert. I am a 21 year old man who has autism. Since middle school, I have also been having problems with trying to control my problem of touching other people's hair. I have touched other girls a lot of times in high school and at my summer camp. In order to make sure the hair-touching does not occur permanently, my psychologist presented me with a lot of self-control strategies. However, even though these strategies have made me cut down on touching other people's hair, it has still not eliminated the problem in its entirety. Does anyone have any strategies that can eliminate this problem at this age?
Mar 08, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		my son has always done this
by: Anonymous

My son has SPD, he's 4, and he has always loved to touch girls hair from the time he was a baby. He still will sit and touch mine. i have to leave his hair longer on the top because he plays with his own hair while he is falling asleep.
Feb 28, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Touching hair
by: Anonymous

I have a 4 year old student who was into touching the girls' hair in the beginning of the school year. We used our rule (Hands and body to yourself, sung to "head, shoulders, knees and toes") to teach him to keep his hands to himself, and of course the rule applied to everyone. We also worked with his parents and nanny to keep reminding him that touching was only by permission. And the old, "would you like someone to do that to you without asking?" He is doing much better, now, and his self-esteem is still rock-solid.
Feb 26, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Hi.
by: Anonymous

I think that is crazy that it is such a big deal that he's touching people's hair. How about if you allow him to touch only YOUR hair, what damage can he do to your hair? Just explain to him that it can get him in trouble if he touches stranger's hair or body in any way and just make a deal with him, the other post is very good, reward him for keeping a good habit of not touching his sister's hair and the other people except you. If he is told the reasons, maybe it will be less confusing and he will not feel so hurt if you tell him that he can caress your hair...because you are his Mom...

I have a daughter, I would never be offended or angered if a boy would touch her hair, as long as she wouldn't mind. I think that men in general like women's hair, because it is soft, long, smells good etc. I really feel for him, people are so god at making even little boys feel like pervs.
Feb 26, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Touching hairs
by: Anonymous

Hello,

My son is 2 and 10 months old. He have a very bad habit of touching my girls hair and my hair too. He is constant touching my hair even at night. He haven't started school yet. I am a little worried if he started school and start touching little girls hair. I know the teacher will complain about that. Maybe you could tell your son or explain to him about touching other girls hair in school is not right. Find appropriate way to explain to your 5 years old son about not allow to touch girls hair in school and reward him for that.

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