Stroke survivor

I had a brain bleed that left me with sensory and proprioceptive dysfunction. Proprioception is like breathing for most people -- they know where their body parts are and they have a clear sense of vertical without even thinking about it.

Proprioceptive dysfunction is hard for the average person to understand, but it permeates every aspect of my life. I trip over my own feet and even sitting uprihght is hard. I've fallen off chairs. My husband says "be careful" but that is like telling a blind person to "look closer."

I try always to have three points of reference -- my two feet on the ground aren't enough. If I can rest a hand on a doorframe, I'm more confident. I'm surprisingly comfortable balancing on the foam at my physical therapist's office. I think it is because I feel like the ground hasn't been solid under my feet since I had the stroke.

I used to windsurf prior to the stroke. Now, standing on dry land, with my cane, feels like I'm balancing on the windsurf board in the ocean when the wind dies. Unfortunately, when I fall, the ground is hard -- unlike falling off the windsurfer into the water.