Need to know info

I married a man who never told me his son had been diagnosed with this disorder many years ago. The child is now 12 years old. I wish I had known what to expect and perhaps much hurt to my own child, 1.5 years older, as well as frustration with Matthew, the sensory integration disorder sufferer, could have been avoided. 3.5 years into this marriage, I feel like I was duped and was not at all ready to take this on. I am wondering if inability to face reality could be part of the adult version of this disorder and if my spouse also has it.