Maddie's so angry and naughty, you need to spank her

This is what my parents say. Her dad did not discipline her enough. You need to lay down the law with her. Well I will tell you I have. I have tried spanking, yelling, taking away, etc. I obviously haven't done it right according to my parents. My friends are supportive as they are teachers like me. Which makes this even worse because a teacher should not have a child like this, right? I have had my child on ripper done for three months. At first, she seemed better. But now we are back to square one. I am so lost as to what my child has. The pediatrician is no help, the psychiatrist just gives meds and the therapist we were seeing played board games about feelings with her. I finally have an appointment with a pyschologist who hopefully will help her. I will ask for assessments to see if she does have sensory problems. She does show many of these traits but not to extremes. I hope she does fall on the spectrum so I can get her some OT. I am new to this and would appreciate any help or comments anyone would like to share with me. I have read the stories about others with this disorder and have already found comfort from reading them. Thanks for listening to me.