I was diagnosed as "retarded", then "gifted"!

by Anna
(Canada)

When I was a child I was always uncomfortable, physically. I could not stand being touched and was therefore unable to appreciate physical affection. The discomfort I would feel while wearing certain pieces of clothing would be utterly unbearable and I would fly into horrible tantrums multiple times a day.

These meltdowns, and the fact that I hit and bit other children led to my being diagnosed as retarded and sent to a preschool/kindergarten for mentally challenged children even though I could already speak and read. I just remember everything always being very difficult to communicate to others, which was so very frustrating!

I was so miserable at the school that for grade one I was transferred to a "normal" school. I failed grade one because the concept of going along with what others were doing completely escaped me! I know that sounds like the simplest thing to do, and I cannot explain why I couldn't understand it. In fact, I remember eventually having the epiphany that perhaps I should try doing what others were doing. It was like a revolution of consciousness!

I started figuring out how better to communicate with others. Eventually when grade five came along, we were tested for the "gifted" stream, and I ended up testing in the top one percent of children my age in Canada.

So really, I guess I wasn't ever "retarded". Today I struggle with terrible anxiety, a dislike of loud and busy places, self-imposed isolation and intense self-dislike, but no longer think I'm stupid.

I wish I'd have had some sort of therapy or intervention. I still haven't sought out a diagnosis of what my cognitive issues are, but undoubtedly I have some sort of SPD.