I very much need help with my 8 year old son.

by Nicole Kinsey
(NH)

Hello, my son can be the sweetest most empathetic little boy around. But when he has his meltdowns it is now dangerous for me and my other son. My 12 year does not display any difficulties with changes and dissapointments and the 2 boys are just so drastically different I am just now admitting that I need help with the 8 year old.

He is such a picky and slow eater that things have worsened now that he is back at school and almost doesn't eat at all at school. Last night after he came home from school I could tell that he was hungry but only wanted sugar, which makes everything so much worse...so before I could help him with food he became fixated on wanting his allowance money a week earlier and a lot more than he I allowed. I said no, and that was all it took to set off a violent, very violent meltdown lasting 2 solid hours.

When he was 3 years old, we witnessed the intensity of his emotions for the first time. His father removed the salt shaker from his hand and Luca became so upset, so quickly and crying so hard that he fainted because he will cry so hard he stops breathing.

Seeing his lips turn blue and him fainting has traumatized me to where I will "give in" at times and more than I should out of fear of him not breathing. Just 6 months ago at 7.5, my mother accidentally said that he could have a half a dozen donuts and he heard that and then she said, no I meant ONE!!...and refused to give him more than one donut. This left Luca reaching his arms out, lips blue begging for breath because he got himself so worked up.

Now, its more than the crying, he will swear and say horrible very hurtful things to me when he is in the mood.

I am desperate for help. My mom is saying its all behavior, but I have a 12 year old boy and have zero issues.

I have joint custody with the 2 fathers. the boys are with me about 4 days/ week. the shuffle and the differences of the 2 homes hasn't helped luca, but again my oldest doesn't handle these changes in this way.

I am desperate to know where to start. I have read dr. Greenes the explosive child book, but I feel I need so much more now, a type of intervention.