Dealing with a SPD Child...

by Melissa
(Boston,Mass)

I am a mom of 4 beautiful kids! I just recently found out my daughter has SPD, She is a 4 year old beautiful,smart,caring little girl.




When she was born, she cried all the time. The doctor thought it was colic, or digestive problems, so those issues were treated... But as a mom knowing your child something still didn't seem right she always wanted to be in her diaper,and always seemed to be throwing major temper tantrums.

I called the doctor and explained my feelings to him... he stated that she at the time is only 2 years old and it's hard to tell what a child's quirks are at that age...

By the time she was 3, she would only wear what she called "Tappy shoes", only a certain dress, NO socks,sneakers,jeans,long sleeve shirts,jackets. I would force pants on her because we live in New England with different temperatures all the time. As soon as we would get in the car she would go into a major temper tantrum and would throw everything off sitting in her underwear.

As time went on the spd got worse she will not wear a seatbelt in the car because it is not "tight enough". She will only wear flip flops & one dress with a very light jacket. She secludes herself in the house because she doesn't want to wear pants,sneakers,etc...

She will be turning 5 in march and with the way she is there is no way I can send her to school like this... We are now approaching winter too & I dread it because I know there will be no sneakers,pants, etc. She will only wear certain


underwear if they are not the skunk,barbie ones , she throws herself on the floor in a rage... pulling them off after long stares and judgment on my parenting.

I went to my daughters doctor again & said please as a mom... something isn't right. Still clueless to what SPD was, he got in touch with a specialist that deals with SPD in children... I did my own research & found this site... and cried in pure joy that I did not feel so alone...

She doesn't have all the symptoms of SPD. She is okay with sounds and food. The only issue we have with her... is clothes and major temper tantrums... it breaks my heart to see my daughter cry over clothes.

After reading some of the signs of SPD and what it feels like to them, I cried & cried to know that this is what my daughter feels everyday. Then the guilt sets in about all the times we were angry with her... thinking she was being a brat, or unreasonable.

My daughter has her first app. Nov.19,2009. I am so looking forward to getting started on my daughters SPD so she can live a normal life, and deal with having SPD. I am sure parents dealing with SPD children know exactly what I am talking about... People out in public would stare at me like why are you letting your daughter wear flip flops in 20 degree weather. Boy... if they only knew.

I am so thankful for this site to help us understand... what SPD is and sharing stories...

Good luck to all the moms & dads,and children dealing with SPD.

Sincerely,
Melissa

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Dec 17, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Thanks for the tips and tricks. Here’s some of ours
by: Anonymous

Hi, I have a 7 year old with SPD and like most others on this page she struggles with clothing, seatbelts, shoes, socks, hats, coats, especially pants. Anything that touches her body makes her skin crawl. It is so hard to get her out the door to school and we have picked up a few tricks along the way. She only wears a certain type/feel of pant.

For socks, we flip them inside out so the seams are not so bumpy. Before dressing we desensitize her skin with touch, sometimes I take a soft bristle brush and brush her skin lightly for a few mins. I touch her feet as well until all the "tickles" are not so intense feeling for her. This has helped us, but it changes everyday and we have to try and think of new creative solutions as she grows and changes as well.

I love the tips and comments on this page. Nice to know that there’s many others facing the same challenges. Best of luck
Dec 17, 2021
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		My seven years old grandy
by: Anonymous

My seven year old grandson gives us a very hard time to dressing him properly . He says everything is itchy . He is been treated for ADD and ODD which it makes it extremely difficult for his mom and I since he is very defiant and his temper sometimes sounds like a grown man .

My heart goes to pieces everyday, He is a very special boy and dear to me but we need to find a way to help him dressed properly and better. Is there any place specializes in these types of clothing?
May 21, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		OCD, SPD and hygiene
by: Julie

I have a 23 year old daughter that has been like this since she was young. She has always liked order, etc and when the clothing issue started, we thought it was OCD. She was given Prozac but I would find the pills in her room as she would not take them.

Eventually, we found some clothes that she would wear, but over and over. When she turned 15, I put her in charge of her own laundry because we had huge issues about it not being done right or right shirt for each day, etc. This took a lot of stress off me. She does have OCD tendencies but definitely SPD..the clothing disorder is compounded by the "rules" for her clothing. Only V-necks, except with this shirt, etc, etc. For the past few years, the concern is becoming the clothes that she wears over and over are starting to have body odor.

I have talked to her and everything is washed in vinegar and pretreated, but once it's in there it returns when she gets hot. I think she lost her first job due to it. When I talk to her about it, she changes the subject or says "I'm working on breaking other things in". She doesn't date etc. She has been in therapy several times. She has been on an SSRI and some improvement but slow going.
Apr 25, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		Tantrums at 11
by: Anonymous

My eleven year old daughter is very bright. Her whole life, she has had has meltdowns and tantrums about clothing, especially new items. Too tight, too short, wrong fabric.

Almost anything she’s never worn before causes her to cry and scream, and she really gets herself worked up about it. Every new item needs to be broken in before it can be worn out, she she can be convinced that it actually does feel okay and it does fit and she can wear it. New fabrics and cuts, everything is uncomfortable. Nothing fits right. She refuses to wear jeans, certain types of underwear, camisoles, pajamas. We are outdoorsy people and she fights me when she has to wear a life jacket, a wet suit, or a coat.

Luckily we live where it’s warm all year, but when we travel it’s a problem. I am exhausted and overwhelmed by the fact that this is still happening to us at this age— I thought she’d outgrow it— but no, middle school is starting and we’re still struggling with it.

I’m thinking maybe it’s time for her to see an OT.
Mar 28, 2019
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starstarstarstarstar 		not sure
by: Anonymous

I have an eight year old son,smart, has friends, no major tantrums. the issue is socks, this just started: he says his socks are not on right and some wont make the cut. he has to find the right pair that feels right. some days 1st try is fine no complaints other times he tries 4 pairs they could even be the same and he still complains. he also washes his hands for a long time, but only in one of our bathroom sinks, the other places he washes normal, but wont touch certain toys because he says only that one sink cleans his hands good.
this is all new, so Im not sure what to think of it. advice would be appreciated. thanks.
Dec 26, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Can't believe I'm not alone
by: Shirl

We have just begun fostering a 5-year-old girl who is totally gorgeous, however I am having terrible problems with her clothing.

She came to us with next to nothing and I rushed out and bought her lots of clothes. However she will only wear certain kinds of pants, socks etc. and has a real problem with seams next to her skin, and also I have cut the labels out of all her clothes.

Her socks are a particular problem and she fusses and fusses over them. Sometimes we have a real battle and she cries and stamps her feet and complains of all her clothes itching.

Having read the comments on this site I am wondering if she has SPD. If so I think I probably need to speak to her social worker for help.

Thank you so much for all your comments - I'm humbled by them!
Nov 29, 2018
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Working through SPD
by: Anonymous

I have a 4 year old that will only wear underwear, loose ones that look like they are about to fall off. She hates seams, tags, stretchy pants and pants with no stretch at all, socks, shoes...the list goes on.

It’s about a 2 hour process to get dressed each day, which is exhausting. I’m slowly working On finding a solution. For socks, turning them inside out so the seam is not rubbing on her toe nails seems to help.

Another trick, if I blow into the socks like a balloon and let her see the sock actually puff up with air before putting them on her feet seems to work. I tell her i’m Going to blow a little magic into the sock. I think she likes that they feel a bit warm when they go on.

Next thing i’m Working on is pants, I have gone online and ordered all sorts of different fits and materials of pants to try and find ones that she likes...leggings are a definite no. I find that Zara has a good selection of pants Outside of the more common legging, "jeans" (aka pants that don’t have an elastic waist band or button), or sweat pants.

After pants i’ll Be working on tops, I think maybe putting an undershirt underneath might help reduce the feel of the seams, but I still have to test this.

Wishing everyone the best of luck and lots of patience 😄
Jun 06, 2018
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		SPD struggles
by: Kiki

Not knowing why I behaved in the form and fashion I behaved during my childhood, and then my youngest child showing signs of feeling the same way I did growing up,is telling me, that I am the parent that he received this horrible disorder from. And it knowing for years what plagued me as a child,but now my 10 yr old son?

I feel so list until now... Now I know what my parents went through..but yet in the 70's & 80's you were just considered a bad kid. Thank you for our mental health researchers, and their due diligence!!!

Now my son will have a better opportunity to become successful in Life.. 😅😅
Mar 04, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Clothing & SPD
by: Suellen

I have been raising my granddaughter since birth and she is now 4 1/2. From the age of 2 I knew there was an issue but did not know what it was until xmas when she could not wear clothing near her body and now she will only wear one dress and one pair of shoe, no underwear.

She is working with an OT but it does not seem to be making it any better. If anyone can tell me how to get her to wear clothes I would be so grateful.
Oct 21, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Frustrating behaviour
by: Kerry

It has took along time to understand my daughter and from reading this site she possibly may have SPD.

She takes her clothes off when in the house, just prefers to be naked all the time. To get her to wear socks and underwear is a nightmare, as she will throw huge wobblys which includes crying stomping around if they are not fitted or positioned correctly.

If she decides she does not want to wear something i.e school uniform I had a huge fight on my hands. It took months to get her comfortable in her uniform then the school throws a non school uniform day at us. If they only knew what that caused!

Patience, persistence and finding the right clothing. Bargaining and lots of positive unconditional behavioral re-enforcement and of course love :)
Oct 07, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Our new adopted 13 year old daughter
by: clarice a

We adopted her 3 months ago and due to her day time wetting issues and bedwetting at night,we started her off right away in cloth diapers and rubberpants 24/7.

After she gets up in the mornings,she showers,then i put fresh cloth diapers and rubberpants on her,then her clothes.Usually by noon,she has her clothes off and runs around the house in just her tee shirt and the diapers and rubberpants!We have tried telling her she has to keep her clothes on,but she just tells us she feels more comfortable with out them.

The worst part is most of her rubberpants are nursery print and she isnt at all afraid of people seeing her in them!

How can we convince her to leave her clothes on without having to punish her?
Oct 06, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Wow
by: Stephabie

Omg....Ithis is crazy i feel like I wrote this myself?! My daughter is the same exact way....will only wear sparkley flats no sneakers no sandals no socks no long sleeves no long pants her underwear have to be falling off her...she doesnt like strappy shirts or tanks only teeshirts. Everyday is a fight over clothes. So what do i do??!!!
Sep 22, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sort of relieved...
by: Anonymous

I actually can't believe some of the comments below!!! We literally thought this was only happening to us! Hopefully there will be light at the end of the tunnel!
Sep 20, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Clothes issues
by: Anonymous

My daughter has had clothes issues (but if an understatement) since she was 3. It started with refusing to wear clothes at preschool or only wearing one pair of loose pants everyday.

Things never got better and she still has disabling clothing issues u till now, age 11. Because it changes every few months, sometimes it's socks, then bottoms, then tops then something else I came to really wonder what this is. She would wear one arm out of her arm sleeve all the time, she would rip and cut holes in her clothes. Eventually she refused to wear any clothes and was house bound for few months.

At this time, I believe this is actually a form of OCD/anxiety in coming text of Asperger. She has started on new medication, risperidone, and is now wearing clothes everyday and going to school. Every child is different and not every medication works for everyone but she has improved with an SSRI and risperidone at low dose remarkably. I wish you all the best of luck and share in your pain.
Sep 20, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Desperate mom
by: Beth

My daughter is 5 yrs old and has spd (non dx'd) and it is literally the hardest thing to deal with. She complains that EVERYTHING is too tight, even visibly loose panties. She refused to have her hair put in ponytails or up in a clip (headbands only or falling free) which makes the process of getting ready for school something I've come to dread.

Before putting any shirt or dress on her I must stretch the sleeves until it "makes the rip sound" (as she says) ripping the thread slightly but enough to actually break the thread. She will only wear one pair of shoes (plastic Crocks) bc she can't stand shoes laces of any kind bc she says they're all too tight. Needless to say, she has major fits (complete meltdowns) if "it's too tight".

I try so hard to accommodate my child but it always seems to end up with us fighting and I think to myself "you're arguing with a 5 year old! You're pleading with a 5year old to just get her clothes on! Something has got to change here!" But I have no idea what to do. I need advice in the worst way possible.

How do I handle my child's spd??
Sep 19, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		The Children of Now who struggle with feeling comfortable in their own bodies. Sensitive to clothing, anxieties, fears, etc.
by: Keli

I empathize with these individuals who are hypersensitive and have sensory processing disorder's and also for the parents and teachers and individuals in these children's lives who are struggling to function and find balance and peace and struggling to find a solution.

I would like to make a few suggestions. And also give some examples of individuals I've worked with in my career and my experience also with my daughter who is teaching me a lot about acceptance and looking for solutions that don't involve medication.

I worked at a Psychiatric hospital for many years as a therapist and worked with many individuals who were also sensitive to clothing and would take their clothes off in public. It's considered socially unacceptable. Hence why they were put in a psychiatric hospital. Many of these individuals would lash out at others -become aggressive and angry because no one was listening to them. They were uncomfortable in their clothes and it was painful to them.

I remember an individual who expressed that clothes felt like sandpaper. He could only wear silky type basketball shorts and tank tops. There are garments that don't have tags and the machine washing instructions are printed on the material. Another suggestion would be silky pajamas or nightgowns that are loose fitting.

I also worked as a Developmental Therapist for children birth the three in Early Intervention for about seven years and worked with many kids that had SPD and also kids with autism that had SPD. I worked with families to find alternative solutions and it can be very frustrating.

One of the occupational therapist that I worked with suggested this book "The Out-of-Sync Child".

When I read it I was able to fully understand what these People with hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity experience. Having a hypersensitivity can be very uncomfortable, confusing and affects the ability to function in this world. Author of this book is the occupational therapist that actually brought awareness to Sensory Processing Disorder

At that time ( 2005 ) the Occupational Therapist told me that many doctors are not aware of SPD. I'm sure more doctors are aware of it these days. But if you're looking for some help and have a child with sensitivity get in touch with an Occupational Therapist that specializes in sensory processing disorder they can do an evaluation and make suggestions and even work with you and the child.

Another book I like to suggest is called "The Children of Now", by Meg Blackburn Losey. Her book is about the children of now which is the new generation of children that are being born with different energy levels and different ways of thinking.

"Currently, countless children are being given medical diagnoses such as ADD and ADHD. These labels have become catch-all diagnosis for those who do not fit the norm. Worst, with those diagnoses come prescribe medications that dull the senses and create a comfortable status quo for everyone else."

These children who have sensitivities, anxieties, are hyper or have fears are often uncomfortable in their bodies which impairs their functioning in this society. Many of them are extremely intelligent and gifted. Many of them may seem hyper active or unable to focus for very long.

These children Often get a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD. These children think differently. They think compartmentally rather than logically, which is how most individuals think.

Children who think compartmentally is sort of like a filing cabinet where many drawers open at once and whatever they're learning is picked up very quickly and filed away for future use. They are very quick learner's so they don't need to focus on something for very long to learn it. Hence is why you might see them as moving from one activity or from one topic to the next rapidly .

It can be very frustrating to parents or teachers to try to keep up with them or teach. You may see children who move from one activity to the next leaving a trail of toys or materials behind them.

In reality these children are learning so quickly faster than we are able to that there they get bored very quickly and they move from one activity to the next rapidly. Have many activities that they can work on our move from one thing to another. Organization is also key. Chaotic or unorganized environments can cause these children to feel anxious, may have difficulty staying on task, and feel like their world is chaotic.

These children don't need drugs they need to feel safe and they need to be understood. If they are not understood and their communication goes unheard these children withdraw from this world. They become introverted, apathetic, depressed. They go into "their own world," where they feel safe.

I would also like to make a few recommendations to help parents out there. Doctors may not know what is wrong with your child, they may not know where an illness or sickness stems from, they may not know about sensory processing disorder.

I would suggest a Medical Intuitive, an acupuncturist or somebody who does Reiki. These individuals are sensitive to energy and can pick up other peoples energies. Many of these children have chaotic energy fields and these energy workers can help balance their energy.

I hope some of this information helps and I wish those of you out there that are struggling with these concerns or as a parent who has is struggling with a child who is SPD that you find peace and that you find the right solution, that doesn't involve medication because it's not the answer. Medication treats the symptoms and not the problem. It decreases our sensitivity to pain and discomfort. But our bodies use pain and discomfort to let us know that there is something wrong please don't ignore the signs. A holistic approach in treating the whole person is the answer.

You are not alone. There are others out there going through the same thing that need to connect with others. Connect with others at www.childrenofthenewearth.com
Sep 02, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Brushing to desensitize
by: Anonymous

This may help some with clothing issues. Our play therapist years ago suggested using the small plastic surgical brushes to gently brush over my sons feet (anywhere else that bothered him but his feet were the worst) before putting on socks. She explained that the skins reaction to the material could usually be relieved by the sensation of the brush.

I did it for him and then he started doing it himself. Now 12 years later he rubs his feet rapidly before putting on his socks. He doesn't wear socks at home or anywhere else he doesn't "have to" but he can wear them without the discomfort.

This may be useful for some if it's helpful for your child
Aug 11, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Feel your pain
by: Anonymous

My 11 year old is very similar - refuses to wear clothes, specifically bottoms ie. underwear, shorts; cannot leave home or have anyone over; has been debilitating for our whole family; she is depressed, anxious and says she can't bear to wear clothes and crying in her room. We have decided to start risperdal at low dose in addition to fluoxetine to see if it will help, will keep you all posted. After all these years I feel like it is a form of OCD in context of her Asperger and anxiety.
Aug 11, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		It works for awhile; then it doesn't
by: Anonymous

I thought I had it figured out; apparently, I don't. My 10 year old son, 5 year old daughter and I on day 3 of sitting in the house on a beautiful day because my daughter wont wear pants/ bottoms/ shorts.

She wont ride her bike because it hurts her crotch area--She wont wear underwear because it slides up her croch. She will wear underwear for the O.T. r an ur. In the car they come off or a tantrum rages. My 10yr old son has extreme anxiety, PSD, abd aspergers. Her tantrum cause his anxiety to jump. I cant have her screaming. She would scream all day if I ignored it--Ive done that.

She wont eat vitamins chewables, gummies, fruit, veggies. She eats choc milk, pretzels, dry cereal, spaghettios (ONLY COLD)cinnamon bread, frozen waffles with confetti, pancakes with choc chips. We havent eaten as a family in 2 years. The 3 of us our close, but their dad feels alienated and resentful how we spend our days. "They, we, I used to;" The prime saying in our home.when 5k starts we are screwed.
Aug 08, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		As a child I hated clothes they itched and hurt
by: Anonymous

Not sure if I had SPD, but I got over whatever it was. Until I did though I wore thin socks inside out so the seams wouldn't bother me and sneak under my toes, I still hate this but no longer turn my socks inside out. I am 35 now, but quit wearing my socks like this at 12.

Until the age of 8 I refused to wear underwear, it's the seams and elastic. Satiny type underwear has less of this. When cutting tags out, do it at the threading as that millimeter of tag cut can be worse than just leaving the whole annoying tag in.

For clothes that seem uncomfortable shirts, pants, socks, underwear try them inside out if they can be worn this will reduce those painful or itchy seams.

The good news is I no longer live my life taken over by these issues. Your children aren't trying to be stubborn they are truly uncomfortable, but are perfectly normal with some sensitivities. I hope this helps some parent.
Jul 05, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		SPD? Try THIS!
by: Anonymous

BOOK: "Disconnected Kids: The Groundbreaking Brain Balance Program for Children with Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, and Other Neurological Disorders" by Robert Melillo

A drug-free program addressing the causes—not just the symptoms—of Autism Spectrum Disorders and related conditions such as Sensory Processing Disorder.

I have just begun the exercises with my 9 year old and am beginning to see improvement already.
Jul 04, 2017
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		11 year old won't wear clothes
by: Monica

We have been through so much of what I read here. Hated clothes since she was three, refusing to wear pants or wearing same pants everyday.

She is now 11 years old and will only where an old ripped pajama anything that touched her waist. It is complete insanity. Even if she wants to go somewhere, when it's time to get dressed, she has panic attack. She can't go or do anything!

I truly believe after all these years that it is not SPD or sensitivity associated with autism but OCD/anxiety. Things initially improved after starting Prozac but I think now we will have to come up with a rigid plan to force her to dress everyday. It will be hard and she will be very upset but I don't see any other choice.

Thank you everyone for your helpful comments.
May 31, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		Need to know
by: Anonymous

I have a 10 year old son I am realizing something is wrong they diagnosed him has autistic with learning disabilities but I'm realizing that he is sneaking into his grandmother putting on shirts and pants when I'm outside and his closet putting on all these different shirts in his closet and dress pants sneaking in doing it that's what scares me because he's getting bigger now this is new to me at first I was punishing him a spanking but he needs help keep praying about it I'm waiting for them to give me appointment so he can see a psychiatrist seems to be getting worse help please
Feb 09, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		My child gives me anxiety
by: ....

My child has sensory issues. Is in preschool.
The meltdowns are LOUD and long.
I am afraid neighbors will call the cops or child protective services and they will take him, because I am unable to keep him from having meltdowns. : (
Jan 28, 2017
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Autism spectrum disorder
by: Anonymous

My Son Is 14 years old And He dont want to shower and he wants to wear the same dirty clothes He fights with me If I tell him to go get a shower or that you are not gonna,wear them.same clothes from yesterday I need help he think it is okay to be nasty and to wear dirty clothes it aint right I hate that my son is this way
Nov 21, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		2 1/2 toddler baby girl
by: Kate

My granddaughter is a beautiful honey blond baby princess but she is suffering from terrible anxiety. It breaks my heart to see her go through such anxiety about wearing shoes or socks or coats or clothes. She cannot play with other children she cannot engage with the other kids we have been bringing her to day care and she isolates herself As an observer.

It's getting cold and she will not wear socks at this time or a coat to only wear certain clothing and hang agonizes over what it is on a daily basis she cannot deal with it if two people are speaking at the same time she has a tantrum she can only deal with one on one I do think some of hers is behavioral but I think there's more to it than that.

we are in the Philadelphia suburbs and I am looking for some kind of support , suggestions or recommendations since her parents are in denial and I have been struggling as a grandmother watching and living with this . I would appreciate all suggestions or or recommendations and perhaps I could share them with her parents.
Nov 18, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		My granddaughter hygiene
by: Donna

I'm not sure about my 12 year old granddaughter she's deaf she would go in the bathroom and acting like she's taking a shower but she don't... she still has a odor when she comes out but she keeps putting on the dirty underwear with clean ones and sometimes wearing 5 at a time whether they are clean or dirty.

When she stinks instead of her taking a bath she would put on more clothes to cover up the smell. What can I do to understand what's going on with her?
Nov 07, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		no clothes
by: Anonymous

I was so happy to see these posts. Just this morning my 6 yr old granddaughter put on a pair of new pants not tights but not skin tight, here we go o they are itchy no I'm not going to wear them and almost every tag is cut out of her clothes and also hates socks my god I have to walk on ice just to get her dressed for school.

Then theres the no pj wearing to bed it's to hot an only covers up with a soft single blanket. This has gotten worse with age. Thank you for all the post. I will be watching for more comments, and yes I'm pooped out from this but feel better shes not the only one !!!!
Oct 07, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		Looking for help
by: Anonymous

My son will.be four in January. As a mom I have felt in my heart that something has just been off since he was a baby. With the age thing being hard to determine if it's a toddler thing or if something else is going on. The older he gets I am getting concerned. If things change he has a very hard time. Clothing and getting dressed are dreaded times for me. He like soft clothes and refuses to wear socks. Nothing with seems. He will have a melt down over the littlest of things. He is a sweet, smart boy. I am just starting to look for answers on how to help and better understand if I am dealing with something else going on. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.
Sep 25, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		My 7 year old girl
by: Anonymous

Hi, I am so glad to have found this site. I too thought I am alone in this. I read some of your experiences and I am experiencing exactly the same.

She wears her uniform daily. But then after wearing it, the complaints and the whining starts. We are from the Phils. She would complain in our language and eventually cry. Takes real time for her to settle down. This takes place almost every morning.

She complains about her inner shirt, her panties and her socks, saying it's ouchy. If we ignore her, she screams so we have to give her attention as she takes the school bus in the morning.

I will continue reading through all your posts and see what help we can get. It has started to become really depressing and frustrating for all of us. Her grades are now bring affected as well.

We need help too..
Sep 01, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		Autism / SPD
by: Evelyn Omolo

Helo guys, thank you so much for this forum we have here, now my question is, Is Autism SPD? I have a son who was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3years, and it has been a journey though we have tried to manage it so far. And i want to appreciate parents who live with these special kids coz it really takes one the kind of heart you have to bring up a child like ours.

Thanks alot and God Bless
Aug 22, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		SPD
by: Anonymous

My daughter has just been diagnosed with dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia and SPD. I would love to talk to anyone else whose child is suffering with SPD as my daughter for years has struggled and it just gets worse. It started with her being fussy about what knickers she would wear, the shoes, trousers tops, skirts I can handle but the knickers have become a big issues. We are in the UK and no one here seems to recognise this.

She is 9 now and 3 years behind at school the issue is so bad now she has to wet her knickers before wearing them and will now only wear 3 pairs out of all the knickers she has. She gets so upset about it, it hurts and I just don't know how to help her. I need help or at least someone to talk to, someone who understands. Her school are terrible and shout at her all the time and they just make it worse.
May 18, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Advise Please
by: Anonymous in Michigan

My daughter is 5 1/2 and she has been increasingly picky about her clothing. It is to the point I can not find a shirt or pants that are comfortable for her to wear. I completely cleared out her closet and drawers of clothing to start over. I was tired of all the fighting over clothing. We spent 3 hours trying on and picking out a weeks worth of clothing. Some of the clothing we purchased had to be returned because she decided after getting them home that they were not comfortable. She wore the remaining for a couple months and now these too are itchy, hurt her, etc. They are warmer weather clothing so we need spring clothing.

She is only in the 10% percentile and is in size 4, doesn't like tags or even seams. I tried buying Cuddl Duds to wear under clothing and it worked for a while, but then I think she had a growth spurt. The tops are not working anymore so I am going to try a size larger, but the pants will be too large. She is down to wearing 1 bottom inside out. Her skin gets red and irritated. She has sensitive skin and therefore we use dye free, scent free detergent.

I tried putting Eucerin lotion on after a bath hoping maybe it would help her skin and she broke out and was itchy from it. The nurse at the doctor's office was not much help. She tried to tell me it was just a phase that her nephew went through the same thing but if I wanted to make an appointment I could and if it was that bad the doctor would send her to a psychiatrist. I see physical evidence of my child's discomfort. I do not understand how a psychiatrist can help that. I do not know where to turn!
May 14, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		OCD? Pandas? SPD? Not Sure
by: Anonymous

I have an amazing 5 year old daughter that with her teachers and most people she behaves amazingly. She is very smart. Loves structure, exhibits quite a few OCD type behaviors, loves things that are planned or for everything to go smoothly. I am a single mom now. Her dad and I separated when she was approximately 2 years old and i read many things where I thought maybe she had PANDAS since she had experienced strep and major life changing events like moving to a new house by ourselves, end of school year, etc. seams on socks, tags on shirts, underwear, excessive wiping (was an issue - this has gotten better), clothes not "fitting right" makes her have meltdowns.

Today we were at a birthday party and the new bathing suit I bought her didn't "fit right". she scratched herself (she used to scratch me) and then started to have an anxiety attack because her sister had a life jacket and she didn't. I quit my last job because I thought maybe it was creating stress. I am exhausted, tired, i don't feel that I am much fun around my kids. Both me and my ex husband are dating new people and I don't know if this is bringing on new symptoms.

Is there a therapist in houston/sugarland area that anyone recommends.
May 12, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		unable to wear anything around her waist
by: Anonymous

Hi I have a beautiful 13 year daughter who can not wear anything around her waist which has a lot of implications on activities she can take part in.For example she is unable to wear the lower seat belt across her waist. This has such an impact on school trips as the school struggle with insurance issues.Ive tried a pillow ,cuddly toy etc for her to hold but she wont do that either. This is really starting to impact on her school life. Perhaps if she had a title they would be considerate but you can see IT.So my daughter is missing out from no fault of her own. has anyone had similar issues. Any advice would really be appreciated.
May 11, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Seems normal
by: Anonymous

Seems like pretty typical behavior. I would caution labeling your child with a "disorder." Most research on child disorders are all funded by pharmaceutical companies. I have a particularly spirited 4 year old and have gone through a host of similar issues. Strong willed children can be relentless. A pattern has been set and it will take diligent parenting to change it. It's a "Disease Called Childhood."
May 11, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Spd struggles, please read
by: The same-ish

I have done so much therapy and some has worked awesome. Does you daughter like to be touched? If so, you might want to try Chinese medicine. For example acupressure. It doesn't hurt at all.


I don't like the feeling of two layers, I got used to bras but never underwear. I feel ashamed every day for it and some day I know I will get my period and will HAVE to wear underwear.




Sorry if it is Tmi.
I just have SPD too.
Apr 28, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		!!!
by: Sunny

Also, I would recommend reading about and therapy by Dr. Renate Jost (As Chaves do Inconsciente) Keys to the Unconscious and Inconsciente Sem Fronteiras (Unconscious With No Borders) - www.fundasinum.com.br - I have seen unbelievable healings only through the correct psychology and knowledge of parent/child relationship.
Apr 14, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		I thought I was alone but realize other kids go through this
by: Anonymous

Wow first let me say that all of you are strong amazing parents! I hear what you are going through and I feel my issues don't compare nearly to what you are going through! I had thought maybe it is a phase and she will grow out of it or that she is being stubborn but the more I deal with it the more I think there are others things going on I just don't understand!! I don't think my daughter has it as bad as some but I noticed for the last year/ year and a half that she has sensory issues!!!

She is a 5 1/2 year old that is in kindergarten as a early enrollment! She is sweet, loving and so smart but you would never know there was an issue with her when she is in school or out anywhere! Since last year getting dressed in the morning is terrible unless it is a weekend and we aren't rushing she is ok but if she needs to go to the bathroom or get dressed when she isn't ready to the meltdown begins!! Everything she puts on bothers her, she doesn't like how it feels, etc and her long beautiful hair!!That is another issue!!! She hates when it touches her back!! Plus hates the noise that a winter coat makes when rubbed! Blocks her ears! Some days are just so hard!! I feel helpless!

She also sleeps with these rubber letters used for kids with chewing issues! She uses them to rub her arms with. That is what she did with her pacifiers too when she used them! There are days I am tempted to send her on the bus in her underwear or pj's just out of pure exhaustion! Plus I work at her school when I get called in to sub as a paraprofessional which me driving her helps some being we don't have to leave as early.
Nov 30, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		pants for boys with snaps/buttons issues
by: Anonymous

There was a post asking for help in January for an 8 yr old boy for pants without snaps, buttons, ect that were not like sweat pants. I buy my son jeans/pants from the Crazy 8 store. (If you do not have one in a mall/around you, they are online as well and you can order them/have them shipped to your home). These specific pants/jeans are pull on, are regular pants/jeans material, but around the waist they are sweatpants material with a drawstring. You can not tell at all/see the sweatpants waist part when he has a shirt on. He loves them! Unfortunately, they only go up to size 14 so, eventually he will grow out of them and I'll be looking for alternative solutions as he gets older/grows.
Jul 20, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		frustrated for what my granddaughter is going through
by: Pat

I feel re-leaved hearing the stories from other parents. My little four year old granddaughter whom I raise has a major issue with wearing underwear or shorts or pants, she insists everything is to tight and if I buy her little clothes any bigger they will fall off. I noticed about one year ago that she started complaining about her underpants and would cry over them not feeling like they fit right. I bought just about every kind of underwear there is and she chooses only one pair that I must wash on a daily basis or she will cry. Now her issue is moving on to shorts, and pants. I believe this is the onset of SPD. I am grateful for the stories because now I know I can seek help for her. It is frustrating and breaks my heart to see her get so upset over a pair of underwear.
Jul 16, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		To _ indinal
by: Anonymous

Hi ... I think your grandson is fine. He sounds just like a 2 year old boy. Only thing that would worry me is the fact he doesn't want to be around everyone.
Jul 15, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		in denial
by: Anonymous

I have a 3 year old grandson. I started noticing signs about 1 year ago. So I did some research and came upon this site. Well my husband and I decided to tell my son and daughter in law. Well they are furious with me. They say that there is nothing wrong with their son. They say I am cray. Worst of all my daughter in law's family agrees with them. It has cause great pain and distance with us and our son.

They said the pediatrician told them that he will grow out of it.

these are the symptons I have noticed while I am around him , there might be more but I am not around him 24 7.

1. refuses to potty train and only wants to be in diapers

2. he stears like in a trans for a few seconds

3. he is agressive and throws tentraums

4. he distance and isolate himself from people when there is a group(sometimes)

5. covers his ears whenhe hears high pitch noise or vacum

6. he talks to himself like he is talking to someone especially at bed time.

7. he is thirsty alot

8. he will not respond when called by his name

9. he jumps all the time like Tigger

10. he watches tv over and over and over while jumping up and down

11. sometimes you cant understand him but other times you can.

12. he is very very intelligent ,knows his numbers,colors,letters,uses laptop,Ipad etc,

13. he is a picky eater. likes to eat the same thing most of the times

I told my son about this but he wont listen, he saids I am crazy . I do not know how to get thru him. I have tried everything . He wont get my grandson evaluated by a professional.

I hope some day soon he will .
Jun 23, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		New onset of anxiety for 5 1/2 old granddaughter
by: Anonymous

Last year our granddaughter started to refuse wearing underwear because she said it 'followed her'. Now she has a panic attack when we put on her seat belt. She has none of the symptoms on any of the check lists for SPD. After driving for 30 minutes with her screaming and wiggling out of her seat belt, we were able to calm her down with verbal distraction. it is very frightening. She will not wear underwear.
Jan 17, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Public Meltdowns
by: Anonymous

My daughter has SPD also main issues are clothes and meltdowns. She does have texture issues too. My question is how do you deal with the meltdowns out in public? For example during a wrestling tournament. It was our clubs tournament and i was working at a table so I was unable to remove her from the building. Or out in public in general?
Jan 13, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Accomodations were the problem!
by: Anonymous

I feel so much for every single one of you because I have BEEN there and it is so hard every single day!

This summer my daughter bottomed out and ended up spending all of June and July in the house not wanting to wear any clothes AT ALL. We ended up having her admitted to a child and adolescent mental health facility where she stayed for a month! She was put on a mild dose of prozac, but it was actually the method of her psychiatrist and the change in the way she was dealt with that got her her life back.

We all accommodate right? Schools accommodate to the max and we as parents do absolutely everything we can to try and find clothes that will work, and we wash and re-wash the same things over and over again, but when they scream and "Can't" dress - we just throw our hands in the air and don't know what to do. Because we have had it so ingrained in us that they Can't because of their anxiety. And it IS anxiety that causes these clothing problems.

So what the psychiatrist taught us is that instead of giving in and letting our daughter have her way, we parent her the way we would parent any other child without these issues - we tell her the expectation, what the consequences will be for not meeting those expectations - and then we wait for her to step up.
It was very counter intuitive for us - and stinking hard. At first I was mad and I hated the doctors and the workers because I was convinced that they didn't understand her. How could they expect her to do what she just could not do? Didn't they know the clothes actually felt painful to her?

Well - they told her that we couldn't visit unless she dressed - and guess what? She dressed! And then they gave her time limits - and she met them. And when she finally came home from the hospital she could dress every day. On the days she said she "couldn't" we said "Fine, that is your choice, but you will spend the day on the bed without anything - no books, toys etc - absolutely nothing to do". And guess what? That alternative didn't work for her. Before I would let her watch t.v. or play video games in her robe - anything to help her feel better because of her delicate psyche - but not now - now there are consequences. And it worked. I wish I could have each of you sit with this psychiatrist and let him explain his method to you. He said accommodations are what led to her bottoming out and that we needed to expect her to do what was required of her. In fact - the recommendation is for no counseling in terms of anxiety because she will milk this for all it's worth to the point of saying, "I can't do this or that, don't you know I'm anxious..."

So maybe it's time for a whole new approach for you with your child. Maybe they don't SPD, maybe they are anxious and soothe themselves with fussing over clothing but need you to help them get over this.

All I know is that at one point in mid August I thought she was too far gone to ever come back to us, and suddenly we had our child back. She is in school full time (grade 6) and although it takes her a long time to dress -she does - every single day. Slowly but surely she is beginning to thrive!
Jan 13, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Need Help With Clothing Options for Eight Year Old Boy with ADHD and SPD
by: Amy

Our son has SPD and ADHD, and he has challenges getting ready in the morning. He often puts his underwear, shirts, and pants on backwards and his shoes on the wrong feet. The teacher and the students in the class have noticed that his pants keep falling down. He has been wearing pull-up pants like sweat pants and basketball pants because it is hard and uncomfortable for him to wear stiff pants with buttons, snaps, etc. Do any of you have any ideas for pants that will stay up but don't have a difficult closure to them? For example, I was trying to find some velcro closure pants, but I can't find anything. Your help is greatly appreciated as he is being teased at school. He has short legs, a small waist, but a husky upper body.
Dec 11, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		fits!
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 5 years old .now in school.we have dealt with major fits over a year now.she has to wear uinforms to school .and has got used to it.but it's not without a fit every morning!.when she gets home she will change asap.and the fits begin all day over her clothes.bathtub is terrible!bc she has to throw a huge fit over what pjs.she is going to wear.she hits and scratches and.she becomes very violent.her teacher says she is very good in school and very shy and does well with others.we were shocked when she told us this.bc she is not this way at home.75 percent of her day consists of screaming over her clothes.
Nov 30, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		So sad
by: Anonymous

Our six year old daughter has always been quirky. (never liked wearing jackets and never wears underwear) She started kindergarten this year and loved it, but after one week she started not wanting to get dressed each morning. We have tried everything like laying her clothes out the night before, talking with the school counselor, etc. She has one pair of white pants she'll wear over and over. It's a battle every morning and it's awful for her, our two other daughters, and my husband and I. She throws horrific tantrums and says the meanest things. We try to remain calm and help her through it, but she will yell that she wants to get dressed herself, then yells she wants help, then goes back and forth until we physically have to dress her. She will then cry that she doesn't know what is wrong with her and that she hates herself. It's so sad and my family is falling apart. I've gone to our doctor and I'm trying to get her into a specialist. We got her hair cut short so she won't have to comb it, bought soft t-shirts, pants, seamless socks, I need help and I'm not sure what to do.
Nov 21, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		I hear you - Baffled
by: LJ

recently read Baffled comments and I understand your need to talk to someone else with the same struggles. I have recently put together a small support group for moms with children with aniexty, its been super helpful to talk to other moms. Sending hugs to you and your daughter. Wondering if we are in the same province?
Nov 21, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		update
by: LJ

so my daughter at 11, was basically down to no clothes last spring; and was actually pulling her hair because of the feeling on the back of her neck. I have to say we hit rock bottom. With the rock bottom we broke down and decided to medicate. Her physicians prescribed her a very low dose of prozac and it helped. We as a family had the absolute best summer. Many day trips and camping. Not one melt down over clothes. A happy girl! An 11 year who met friends and felt normal. In the fall I kept her home and I'm home schooling her still. Although we havent had any clothing meltdowns she still wears only one pair of pants, one shirt. I buy her different colors of the same shirt but she only wears one. Now that she is in grade six the kids are picking on her and singling her out. Also some of her quirks can make school a bombfield. Most teachers don't understand her OCD/tactile problems about things and just feel she is being defiant and are pretty passive aggressive towards her.

And the cold weather has arrived. We have bogs boots which are fine without socks. Go Walk Sketches which are the best things since Crocs. She can have no socks in these and no one notices. But I must admit lately Since the cold weather is back I see more of the old OCD behaviors popping up every now and then.....and I worry.I dont want another spring like last spring!
Oct 28, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		HELP
by: frustrated

MY DAUGHTER is 11 & refuses to wear jeans..she wears the same pair of leggings everyday . Me and her father work and so her grandparents get her up and take her to school..its a fight every morning but it still ends the same everyday..and she has this one favorite pair of underwear...uhhhggg..she has a a lot of expensive in style clothing but wont wear them even tho she is now being bullied for wearing the same shorts..im at my wits end help
Sep 26, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Teenager help
by: Anonymous

Our daughter has always strnuggled but as we have done all that we could and she has had ESE support throughout school, she has been able to play sports and go to a regular school BUT in high school she hit a wall. We are home schooling but at this point that means visual therapy, Occupational therapy and pychologist.

We met a girl yesterday that was 22 and never finish high school. At 17, we are doing all we can. The SPD seems to have caused anxiety, panic disorder and depression. Is it because she struggled so long and school is too hard now? or just overwhelmed in life?

Does anyone have experience with a teen that has keep up until 16-17 years old and then going to the store is a big deal?

Feeling so alone...friends and family only see a beautiful smart girl...no one understands...
Help please...
Sep 25, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Screaming 3 year old
by: Anonymous

Could it be possible my granddaughter has spd, she is the most adorable well behaved happy child apart from every morning when its time to get dressed she screams for around an hour putting the clothes on, saying they don't feel right & eventually ending up with the original items on after an exhausting screaming & crying episode.
Sep 23, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Have Hope!
by: Kalee

Don't give up moms! I am 43 year old mom of 5. My oldest is 26 and when she was 2-3 years old and living in michigan I would have to take her to church with no shoes or socks. People always staring. She would be naked and playing in the backyard around 4-5 years old. No one had a clue in the late 80's and people didn't have internet forums or Google or any help! I lived with guilt and frustration. I am an END, surely I can't be this bad of a mother....

I really beat myself up as I fed her hotdogs 3 times/day for 8 months straight. Our pediatrician looked at me as if I was the craziest mother and I quit telling him about her as I feared they would call social services!

Today I am proud to say my daughter is absolutely beautiful. She wars heels and jeans and dresses and SOCKS...even with the "lines" across the toes! She eats vegetables and tries new foods. She was ho me schooled from 1st grade through 6th grade. We loved her through it and stopped listening to other people's suggestions and listened to our child and our guts. Somewhere along the years one by one her quirks became less quirky and as other children were born and our attention shifted off our all-consuming worry over our oldest child to just juggling all the kids, she grew up! She still has some sensory Issues but not so many and not all at once.

Keep hoping and loving your child. No matter what people on these forums or other websites say, know that YOU are the one who knows your child best. Mother's intuition has been around way longer than Google. If your gut says it's not right, it probably isn't. Keep looking for answers. Dont give up on your baby! By God's grace we made it thru. You can too! Give your babies hugs and kisses (whenever they will let you touch them)! Godspeed.
Sep 19, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		For Wendi
by: Anonymous

Wendi,
I hate to say this, but your child has many symptoms associated with asperger's syndrome or autism spectrum disorder. I would call the public school and ask them to come do an evaluation. They can provide in home services and information on what you may need. I am no physician and DO NOT want to diagnose your child, but IF your child does have one of these disorders, you want to start interventions ASAP!! There are studies that show that the earlier you start services, the better your child will fare when they're older. I hope this helps.
Aug 10, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Help
by: Wendi

My son is 2 1/2 & I have no idea how or where to start in treatment for my baby. He has not been evaluated or anything. These are a few of the things he struggles with.

Loud noises
Ocd type behavior
Horrible fits
Only I can do something for him
Not social
Won't wear clothes, if he does, they have to have a ball game theme on them
Screams throughout the night
Takes hrs to eat one meal
Afraid to leave home
Advanced in his vocabulary

Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for your time and for sharing this page. I don't know where else to turn.
Aug 04, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Similar issues as well.
by: Anonymous

I appreciate this write up as my Son is 9 about to turn 10. We evaluated everything as it relates to SPD and much of it he does not have. During the school year things were awesome. This summer however things have been aweful. He will only wear a few certain shirts, only one swimsuit, and only certain shorts. The biggest issue for us is shoes. What is strange for us however is that much of the other signs of SPD, he does not have. When I look at the checklist, he really only has one or two symptoms. Anyway, I am at my whits end with him, and have no idea how to deal with this for us both.

This has gotten so bad that he got a skin virus from wearing the same cloths at camp and had to be treated with steroids. I am going ot spend some time on this site doing some more reading.
Jul 23, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Response to LJ
by: Baffled

I was so sad to read LJ's comments as my 11 year old daughter is really struggling too. She has been 9 weeks at home now unable to dress most of the time. She has completely lost her normal life, which means we all as her family has too. It's summer and she sits inside in a bath robe without underwear. She won't wear that out and refuses to go out to a doctor's appointment. Therapists who have come in have not helped so we are now at the point where we are going to call the ambulance tomorrow and have her taken to emerg. Something has to be done for our daughter - she is getting worse by the day.

She as diagnosed in 2012 with OCD, no one has ever even said SPD - but I think it must be a combination.

We live in Canada too and want so much to be able to talk with another mom in person who gets this!

I am just so unbelievably sad and feeling so hopeless!
Jul 11, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Thank You
by: Anonymous

Thank you for all your comments. I know now that we are not alone in our suffering with our nine-year-old daughter. She has the clothing issues and recently I have seen her trying to get into one of her doll's diapers and that she has been looking up "9 year olds in diapers" on her iPad. She has been diagnosed with ADHD and is on medication for that and for anxiety. Her focus is better and her behaviour at school has improved greatly. However, at home, we get the anger, the meltdowns, the clothing issues, etc. We also live in Canada. Have to wonder if we are behind in these fields.
Mar 26, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		my 11 year old girl wears basically nothing
by: LJ

We live in Canada, my daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD, medicated and soon OCD due to extreme anxiety over clothes. She really wears nothing now. She has huge explosive fits and has scratches all over herself. I home school her now, and our lives are greatly impacted. Winter is the worst time of year. Honestly I knew she had SPD when she was 3. Our GP wondered if I made-up the term Tactile defensiveness. I told him to google it.

We are on our third Psychologist. This last one has been the most helpful, giving us exposure therapy and a name for an OT. We have been in contact with the OT that has Willbarger Brushing training. (only one local who is newly trained, when had a private OT when she was 6 but didn't have the training),We started the brushing and only got 3 weeks in. My daughter had trouble with taking on and off the clothing every two hours, so we failed at implementing the whole 6 weeks. Now she seems to be worse. Barely gets PJ's on. most days nothing. I'm waiting till the summer until we can start again. Hopefully we can get through it and she can just wear shorts and a t-shirt until the 6 weeks are up. I worry that for years she has been in this state and I doubt at this point we can turn it around. Sad to think about the future. We don't go anywhere and can't have people over. I believe this is as bad as it can get. Frustrated because I knew, and we were proactive! not lazy parents at all.

I have been doing a sensory diet for years learned from research and books. All other sensitives are gone except the clothing and its worse. I'm wondering what I'm missing. I know the next step will be the medical doctors are going to suggest SSRI's which is what I've wanted to avoid through this whole thing and know we are there. Just sad.
Aug 28, 2013
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Kinda lost
by: Anonymous

My son was 5 in feb. We noticed he was not as mature as his sister who is 14 months behind him. He was in daycare and they noticed he seemed very immature for his age. Took him to a psychologist right after his 5th birthday. Said he is very immature for his age and borderline aspergers. Said since he is so smart to send him to kindgergarten. Well this turned into 3 days of fits from my son. He did't want to stay in line. The intercome system was too loud. He didn't want to play with other kids like normal, seems very anxious at school (just a few times a week at home or other places). He loved going to school, no promblems with clothes. It just seems certain noises. But he loves listening to the choir at church and monster truck shows! Just ???
Jan 10, 2013
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		There is help
by: Cathy

My daughter suffered from clothing issues since preschool. No one knew what it was. After lots of fights and lots of guilt, we took her to an ot....3 months of intensive therapy every two hours brushing compressions, trampoline, weights along with gluten free dairy free. This falls 95 percent on a parent. Went to her school every two hours to do brushing and compressions. Insurance covers nothing, but will pay for Prozac! Misdiagnosed w OCD anxiety disorders etc. this therapy works. She is about 75 percent better. There is no real cure. But she is not as bad. She went from wearing no underwear, one pair of shorts two t shirts....to wearing skinny jeans soft pants pretty trendy tops, jewelry. She needs all cotton comfortable clothing. And also gets worse during winter when not moving as much. Lot of hard hard work for entire family...cost about $3000 out of pocket for ot once a week 3 months. Diet exercise omegam3 a lot of patience...gluten free dramatically changed much happier disposition. Well liked lots of friends teachers always liked her...most problems meltdowns at home trying just to get dressed. Ot ot ot good luck
Dec 26, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Switching it off at school
by: Anonymous

Hello All,
Dee, my wife and I can relate. Our son, now 8 has SPD and has had frequent meltdowns before and after school, but can hold it in at school. He has never had an incident at school or church, and all the parents, teachers, and sunday school leaders describe him as sweet, caring, quiet, a joy, etc. His meltdowns after school will occur on the way to the car, or in the car. He calls my wife idiot, says that he wishes he was dead, or just plain screams. When he meltsdown he is inconsolable and doesn't react to reason, threats, or encouragement. All we can do is hold him and squeeze him, and we can eventually feel him calm down. Then we do the exercises mentioned below. However, this isn't without the frustration, guilt, shame, and sometimes sadness others have reported on this site

We are teaching him to recognize when he is feeling agitated and to do exercises to help himself out. Push fives, crab walk, seal crawl, jump on a trampoline, wall push ups, etc. It has helped. His meltdowns don't happen everyday anymore. Gum or a tootsie roll as soon as he gets into the car also helps, (something about oral sensation,and chewing that helps the disconnect between the brain and senses).

Hang in there parents. All four of our kids has a sensory disorder of some sort. Our oldest has a very minimal SPD. With her it is the sight and smell of food. If it looks or smells funny, she will not be able to get past it, (true for me too), Our 11yo, just shared with us that pants have been bothering her since she can remember, but she was afraid to tell us. Our youngest son is a sensory avoider; food textures, touch, feel, and sounds of applause will make him cry. He has improved due to OT and it being caught at a young age. Our 8 yo, is better than he was. He used to complain about his pockets hurting him. Clothes and socks were a big issue. Now, not at all with the clothes and socks. He just has meltdowns and anger, but this has also improved. We are hopeful that this too will improve with work and encouragement.
Oct 16, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Switching off at school?!
by: Dee

My four year old daughter has nearly been diagnosed with SPD and I read these posts and think YES! That is us! But apart from a few close family and friends no one knows my daughter is like this as she has an amazing ability to switch it off at school. Her teachers described her as a quiet, sweet little girl and a just about choke when I hear it! At home she has violent outbursts, tantrums, and yes, the clothes issue! Seatbelts, bedtime...you get the picture because you understand! Does anyone else have the same issue with a split personality?!

Is it social anxiety enabling her to control herself or is she switching off her senses while she is out? And then the meltdowns begin as we are walking to the car! Deep breath! Someone tell me please if this is possible?! Still waiting for someone to actually take responsibility, listen to me and confirm the diagnosis. Hang in there everyone. Xxxx
Sep 21, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		so it's SPD, now what?
by: Anonymous

I have a 9 year old girl with severe tactile defensiveness. Some days she can just not wear clothes at all. She goes to school maybe 50% of the time. We have a good relationship with the school but to be honest I'm completely overwhelmed at this point. The only diagnoses we can get in Canada is ADHD. and she is now medicated. Hasn't changed anything about her tactile problems though. She can focus better and does better at her reading but whats the point if she can't make it to school? Honestly, I can't imagine where this is all gong. Our lives have been consumed. I'm home, not working, and doing home schooling with her. I've been brushing her and see little change. Does anyone have anything else they can offer me? What is the long term? Is there a better medication than a ADHD med?
Jun 08, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		SPD to light touch
by: Anonymous

I have a six year old girl that was just diagnosed with SPD to touch. Just a light scratch on her skin and she has a major meltdown. We had problems with seams on socks, underwear, hair brushing and baths...but she seems to be able to tolerate it now. Another big issue we had in the past was toys that talked and vibrated. We couldn't go to the store or anywhere without her being terrified of these types of toys. It has been so difficult the past 3 1/2 years not knowing what this was. We even saw a psychologist for a year on and off that couldn't figure out what she had. She thought it was just behavioral problems. Finally we saw another social worker and she pinpointed it right away. Now we are seeing an OT who has started her on the brushing therapy. I am hoping she will feel better very soon! She has been suffering and our whole family too. The anxiety she has controls the entire day. I am optimistic that she will improve.
May 20, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Spd
by: Anonymous

I have also experienced the trauma that SPd can provoke. My 27 year old girlfriend refuses to wear pants and it has now got to the stage that she cannot leave the house and has left herself completely isolated, resulting in a serious strain on our relationship and her friendships. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Apr 22, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		advice
by: Anonymous

My eight yr old son has many of these behaviours listed esp the need to overstimulate and the extreme tantrums. I'm exhausted and desperate and feel alone. Happy to have found this site.

Any advice about what to do when he's overstimulating? I'll be looking for an OT. I've heard that in Canada we can't get a diagnosis.

Thanks
mm
Mar 28, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		spd
by: Anonymous

Our daughter is about to turn five. Our daughter must have SPD. She has not worn knickers, trousers, leggings, shorts, swimwear or tight's (basically anything with a crutch) for as long as i can remember. Our daughter also refuses to wear a seatbelt and removes all of her clothes, shoes and socks when getting into the car. Our daughter recently had an obsession with the velcro on her shoes and was getting very angry and upset at school because they would not stay lined up right. I spent a week searching all the local village's for a pair of buckle school shoes in her size (Start Rite do two styles of buckle shoes if anyone is having the same problem). Following our first visit to our paediatric consultant on 25th May 2011 it was repoted that our daughter had Laungage Disorder and Social Communication Difficulties. Then again on 19th September Diagnosis: Langage Disorder, Social Communication Difficulties (Possible Autistic Spectrum Disorder) and sensory issues - only because I pushed.

We are currently 25th on the waiting list to see Clinical Psychology (this means at least a year). We have had a visit from a private O.T and plan to meet with her again. The transition from playschool to school is slow but we are getting there. I do have to keep the school on there toe's and have sent in much information and books. I'm astonished that the proffesionals do not communicate with each other so I have to constantly keep everyone informed. The day's are long and sometimes very hard but our daughter is an amazing little girl. Can anyone suggest anything to help our daughter to wear knickers and wear a seatbelt?

I'm happy for my daughter to wear what she wants at home if thats what she needs to do but I really would like her to wear knickers to school. have any parents found anything that helped them with the seat belt? it's my main priority. It's a relief to know i am not alone and I think of you all when driving my daughter to school wearing no clothes and take comfort. Thank you in advance x
Oct 19, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		5 year old girl with SPD
by: Tara Sinnott

Hi,

I've logged into this web site in desperation and feel like I have taken my first proper breath in months to hear all the stories that are so similar to my own and my daughter's.

I am a mum of 4 lovely kids and my 2nd, Anna, who is 6 soon, was diagnosed with SPD last year.

Her one and only symptom of SPD she has is her clothes.. but anyone of you who have a child with SPD will know it's enough to upset you, your child and the rest of the family for the whole day.

Anna started trying to pull her clothes off before she could talk, I didn't think much of it til she started Montessori and she wouldn't wear a coat/socks/closed shoes etc; when we had to leave the house. It got so bad that I was lucky if I could put a tshirt and tracksuit top on and flip flops, which living in Ireland, isn't practical 11 months of the year.

The relief I felt when she was diagnosed last year was immense, but I must admit, every day is a constant struggle. Dressing takes up to an hour, as she strips off, shouts, screams drools and spits at me, cries and basically throws tantrums for all of the morning. I feel so bad for her, she is usually a beautiful, kind caring little girl, but this has just taken her over and consumes our lives. Once she goes to school, she "gets used" to the clothes (which is 1 of 2 tracksuits and 1 of 2 t shirts!) but the cycle starts over again the next morning, as bad as ever.

Swimming is nearly and impossibility, gymnastics, sports. etc; as she won't wear swim wear/runners. She also misses out on outings with the rest of the family at weekends as she chooses to stay in her pants rather than get dressed for the park.

The OT Anna saw recommended the brushing technique, but to be truly honest, this didn't help for long.

I would love to hear from any of you other suffering Mums with a child similar to Anna. I would appreciate any advice you could offer on getting Anna dressed as peacefully and easy for us both as possible as it is so upsetting for us both and for the rest of the household also.


Look forward to hearing from you,

Take care,
Tara
Jul 15, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Thats my child too!
by: Anonymous

My child is 4 years old and in the last month become someone totally different. There have always been things suggestive of a sensory problem like dislike of loud noises, underwear giving her "wedgies",shoes not feeling right.
In the last month, it has turned in to rage temper tantrums wearing any underwear or shorts. Every day 2-3 times a day the tantrums get worse and worse. I am in tears now thinking about it. She won't go to the bathroom until the last second because she will have to pull her pants up/down, then she wets in them a little and the process of changing clothes starts all over again. We see an OT in August....praying for some help!
Mar 18, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Just when I thought I was going crazy...
by: Anonymous

I'm in tears as I read these comments because now that I know my little girl has a disorder, I see that I had one as a child. This has definitely been a genetic thing in my family. Its like a big weight has lifted off of me. I can't wait to find an OT!!I was always afraid to get help because these kinds of issues get passed off as ADHD or bipolar disorder much too often. Its like a sixth sense led me to this site. Thank you God for the hope! Thanks to all of you for sharing and to the research on this condition.
Nov 09, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		We have all been there
by: Belle

I can say that while reading your post I saw my children. I have three children that have been diagnosed with SPD, I can tell you that every SPD child is different. My daughter is a sensory avoider, when she was younger she could not stand certain textures on her hands and feet, and the clothes thing I get 100%. What has worked with me is the soft knit pants and allowing her to go shopping with me to pick out her clothes. If it were up to her she would wear a bathing suit year round, but as you said, it does get cold and well wearing a bathing suit shopping is just not acceptable, so we compromise, she wears the bathing suit on under her winter clothes, she is happy and so am I. This is the first year that my daughter will wear bluejeans, and only Miley Cyrus ones at that, prior to this year it was knit pants only and she prefers dresses and skirts. Once school starts I have to go into her room, and take all of her summer clothes out of her closet and dresser, box them up and hide them, other wise she would never wear anything else. Same thing with shoes (which is a never ending battle, thank goodness she now has a love of boots so we were able to overcome the flip flop issue)

Also the clothes issue could be the tags in the clothes, the softness etc, so check that out and flip flops get her some toe socks, she can then wear the flip flops or have the sensation of something between her toes.

My boys, my douglas is a sensory seeker and avoider, he avoids foods and seeks high impact. JM is a sensory avoider all around. Needs and thrives on pressure therapy as well as brushing therapy (which you may try with your daughter)

Welcome and Good Luck.
Nov 08, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Moved to tears.
by: Awinegard

I can't help but just cry everytime I read these passages and feel such a kinship and understanding with everyone's stories. My one year old has just recently been diagnosed with SPD. We will be starting OT tomorrow! She has major melt downs, pulling out her hair, slamming her head, etc. It breaks my heart that I can't do something! Then there are times that I feel that I am the crazy one, when family says there is nothing wrong with her. I always reply you are right there isn't anything 'wrong' with her, she has a sensory processing disorder. Thank you everyone for sharing! I need to know that we are not the only ones dealing with these issues. Thank you!
Aug 31, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Support
by: Anonymous

I have a 3 year old with SPD including all senses. We have done so well to create this amazing team for him at such an early age and yet it is EXHAUSTING!!! Support for parents is absolutely necessary. Some days nothing gets done except bare basics because of meeting the demands of my son's needs. We have a back pack that carries a variety of sensory tools for him and it goes everywhere. In each vehicle we have a selection of tools as well. Staying 10 steps ahead of him and recognizing what direction he is headed in in order to re-direct him in different circumstances is ongoing within our family of 5. We are always tag-teaming so someone else can get something done.

Some tools include bubbles, a Thomas the train bubble blower combination whistle, a pull tube (party store), straws, cup with soft cover to chew and suck on, raisins, dried cranberries, exercise band, whistles, train whistle, a timer with a bell, a watch with a dinosaur or car on it, a favorite piece of fabric, a shaker, chewy toys. In the car we have a set of fisher price head phones for noise blocking, a portable dvd player for short episodes of favorite shows.

Just to know that I am not the only one who is dealing with this is such a help. I hope you find some of the tools listed in his sensory tool bag helpful too.
Jun 25, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		help for children with SPD
by: Anonymous

Hello Archie hello Melissa. Your stories are real! It is my reality. Courage for all of us with children with SPD. We must educate those who do not understand our children and their suffering, and we must help our children in every possible way.
Jun 24, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Living it and Loving it..
by: JC

Our son has SPD, and he is just over two years old. He is sensory seeking, undersensitive to pain, oversensitive to foods and temperatures. Every day is an exercise in extremity..crashing, throwing, meltdowns, jumping, rolling,... Top all that off with an Expressive Language Disorder/Delay (he cannot speak). We decided (already) to homeschool, because his needs are so great for stimulation, and schools do not, can not, and often will not meet all the needs for SPD kids. Besides, kids with SPD do not have ANY impulse control - making contact with schools unaddressed problems of drug/alcohol use, weapons, and gangs more than scary for us.

We are building a therapy room for our son to cater to his sensory needs on demand, where we can work with him to increase some tolerances and help him learn to calm down when overstimulated. We are seeking SPD parent groups to join, and give speech therapy to our son regularly. Baby sign language has unlocked our little guys ability to communicate with us..and I highly recommend it to any parent of a child with SPD. It clearly helps bridging the communication gap, and eases much frustration in our little guy.

Stay strong, love each other, and above all, take time for yourselves as individuals AND time as a couple. Distance yourselves from those who judge or criticize. Learn to laugh at your unique and impulsive little one, and enjoy the ride.
Jan 15, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		help with SPD
by: Anonymous

I have read your story and can understand where you coming from, we have taking custody of a child when he was a yr old. He banged his head threw fits, and was always hurting himself, we put him in head start this year and found out that he has SPD, the headstart knew right away what was wrong I felt so bad because I thought he was just doing these things and misbehaving out of anger and we took away toys he threw and even done time out nothing seemed to work, certain noises he would stand and and scream at the top of his lungs, he only will wear certain underwear, theres days he just cries though out the day for know reason, and then day he clings to us. If there is any advice that any one can help us with please feel free to do so. thank you
Jan 08, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you, just thank you. I am in tears, that is my child to a tee. Thank you.
Dec 04, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		You are on the right track!
by: M. Harris

I hope that things have become more clearer for you now. I have an eight yr old little boy with SPD, his preschool teacher read an article about SPD and felt comfortable enough to point out that this looked like our son.

After evaluations, etc he was diagnosed and we began understanding him. He is a terrific kid that goes to O.T. and is always progressing. He is very, very intelligent about the things that he loves and someday hopes to be in a college marching band There is hope!

Be prepared to fight for your little girl, you are her BEST advocate. Good Luck!

Monica
Dec 03, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Thank God I'm not alone!
by: Sheryl

Reading your posts has brought me so much comfort. My daughter has always been horrible when overstimulated--meltdowns that lasted an hour with her kicking and spitting, screaming, and completely out of control.

She is now in kindergarten and she seemed OK for the first few weeks, but then they switched teachers on her and now her symptoms are all back. She complains about her "bumpy" underwear and tries to take it off in school, she refuses completely to wear socks or snow pants (we live in Wisconsin!), she has been pulling her hair out and biting her nails, sleeping badly and having meltdowns a couple of times a week.

The teacher and principal and the whole staff of the school are being unbelievable supportive, but it's so stressful! We are seeing a child psychologist who thinks it might be ADHD, but we're going to have her tested for SPD if it's not ADHD or she might have both.

I'm so stressed out I can hardly sleep or eat and every time the phone rings, I jump a foot in the air for fear that she's gone into a meltdown again. If I hadn't found this site, I think I might have dissolved into tears on a daily basis.

With three kids & a full-time job, managing her symptoms and being an advocate for her in school has been very hard. We are doing everything we can for her because we love her so much and she's the most wonderful child when she's not all freaked out about her sensory issues, but I just wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all turn normal.
Nov 30, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		You are on the right road!
by: Anonymous

Everything is going to be OK! My son is 6 and we've been there done that!!! Believe it or not, he has improved markedly once he started going to kindergarten! The changes in the last year have been factors better! We were afraid to "unleash" him on his unsuspecting teacher, but she's a tough cookie, and she's handling him great, with some assistance from our school's OT. I was even contemplating home schooling because I thought, public school will be a disaster!!

I'll never forget how his teacher had never heard of SID before, and we were like, "here we go!!!" But it's amazing how things work out. I think having my son in an environment all day long where he can see how other kids act has been HUGELY good for him. His school work is great. He's had some behavior issues - he doesn't understand other people's space, etc., but his "red marks" at school are consistent -- we are working on those.

I hear you about the seasonal clothing changes! Yikes! When its time to dress in pants and long sleeve shirts watch out! He still wears his crocks to school with no socks, and its like 40 degrees out! You really end up picking your battles.

Have compassion for your child and YOURSELF! Don't be too hard on yourself - I think of it as we're navigating a cave complex with one candle - just do the best you can, no matter how quirky the two of you have to become, ignore other parents that have all of this advice because their children are "perfect" - ugh I hate that! You are running your own race! Love and compassion is what wins it!
Nov 06, 2008
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		SPD
by: Anonymous

Good luck to you as well!

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