Confused!!

I am a mother of two boys, ages 9 and 6. My nine year old has always been "quirky" for lack of better terms. I have said from the get-go that something just wasn't right with him. I had him diagnosed at 3 with ADHD, but no doctor would listen. I would either hear "he's just a boy", or "it's too early to diagnose him".

After a tough year in Kindergarten I finally got him diagnosed with ADHD with his pediatrician saying "sorry you have been frustrated all of these years". I am still frustrated with him and see from your check list that he has several of the symptoms of SPD.

The odd thing though is that I was actually checking the list for my younger son. While I wouldn't consider him quirky, he is somewhat bothersome. He is constantly destructive, loud, and clumsy. He is also a daredevil and is in constant need of having to touch or hang on me.

In August of '08 he had a Grand Mal Seizure and has had two more since then. He is on Valproic Acid to stop the seizures. I have always noticed, with him, that he seemed to be delayed. He walked later (not unusually later) than my first child, his speech, for the most part, is good, but now that he is in elementary school he struggles. He struggled in Pre-K and Kindergarten, but again, just like my older son, when I stated a concern, I got the "he's a boy - and a late birthday" (school purposes). In different testing this past school year, because I asked for him to be retained and to do first grade again, one of the SLP's at his school mentioned SPD.

I have several questions. 1) Is it possible that both of my children could have this disorder, yet on opposite ends of the spectrum? and 2) Does ADHD come along with this and/or vice/versa?

I don't know where to begin. My youngest son sees a neurologist for the seizures but my oldest son (with ADHD) is only under the care of his pediatrician. We have horrible insurance and can't pay for any high dollar testing. My youngest was referred for a psychoneuorlogical exam but we couldn't do it because of the cost. Any suggestions?