Clothing is my problem

by Eleonora
(Italy)

For me it all started 4 years ago. After a brutal breakup I started feeling uncomfortable in bed, couldn't stand the feeling of sheets and wrinkles under my body, couldn't stand wearing pj pants and most of my shirts, couldn't stand my underwear. I would only have a couple of panties that I would wash everyday and stitch everytime they would rip a little bit more.

After spending a ridicolous amount of money on underwear, I found this one style from M&S that was finally comfortable. I did great for 2 years with these. Back then, clothes weren't a problem at all, just my underwear. I was also sleeping without sheets on my bed, which was very embarassing, but everything else hadn't changed.

Last year my symptoms started worsening like never before. I would often fidget in my clothes, but I didn't change anything yet. During the trasition from spring to summer my condition worsened dramatically. I was able to make it through just because summer clothes were lighter and comfier. I am down again to only 2-3 pj tops I can wear, and all of my panties are adjusted to fit me more comfortably.

My underwear is old and it's embarassing when I'm with my boyfriend, I have to take my clothes off myself because I don't want him to see that. I have given up on wearing a bra (moved from padded bras to a soft lace bra last autumn but can't even stand that anymore), people point it out and it's so embarassing. When I wear something that is not comfortable, I can't shrug it off, it's physical torture.

Autumn is now approaching and I used to be able to wear skirts with tights (I've never been able to wear jeans) but this doesn't seem like an option anymore since tights are extremely uncomfortable even though I was able to wear them just a few months ago.

How do people with SPD cope with winter? I am desperate and I have no idea what to put on once the weather will get colder.